aiyo pathikichu

2008-06-02T08:04:00.002+08:00

heyall ... i've moved ...

my new blog is ...

(drumrolls pls)

gesu-maschile.blogspot.com

do visit and tag ya ... hahaaha

busy busy busy

2006-12-23T07:23:00.000+08:00

have not been blogging lately as i've been very busy ... i'm working at apex pal ... which is sakae sushi's call centre ... i'm working in the marketing department ... under pastor's wife, christina ... i address her as my boss ... haha ...

i'm not alone ... reg tagged along ... yeah ... so it is not as boring as i expected ... my job is very easy ... feeding in info into the com ... in other words ... data entry ... it's that easy ... but after sometime ... it will be darn boring ... yeah ...

we are taking over chu's place for the moment until sch restarts ... one more week to go ...

i work from 9 to 6 ... with an hour break ... den on certain days last week ... i had christmas drama rehearsals to go for right after work ... which ends very late ... once by the time i reached home was the very next day ... hahas ... that was when pa andrea and i went for a very ~~late dinner~~ early breakfast ...

the drama rehearsals are fun ... cause wat i say goes(most of the time) ... but what i was afraid of is that i may have been harsh on them without realising ... sacarsm ... it is the blood for every bowen dramamama ... haha ... and thats not something bad at all ... we arent hypocrities ... but good critics ... yeah ...

and on other day when there arent rehearsals ... i had to go for christmas shopping ... it was a really busy week ...

towards the end of the week ... a saddening news struck me ... mrs guna's 2nd son passed away ... as some of you wld have known ... she is my grand aunt ... i felt sad for her ... not because she's my teacher or because we are related ... it is a totally different reason ... something that is btw me and her only ... it happened a year ago ... before i went fot the two week summer school with my friends at trinity college, mel uni ...

she's a strong woman from what i've seen ... i'll pray that she'll stay strong and move on ... hlc peeps ... you may not no her ... but i believe love need not come at first sight (like how the saying goes) ... love can be spread even in vacuum ... well ... i believe so ... thanks guys ...

shopping

2006-12-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

reg and i went shopping for christmas gifts today ... and guess wat ... we bought most of the gifts in J8 itself ... but we took a really long time ... haha ... but had lots of fun ...

and everywhere we go ... there will be a winnie the pooh plush toy ... reg will get distracted ... i wonder what she wld be thinking ... maybe, how to make out with a plush toy in public? ... lol ... haha ... according to reg ... regina + pooh = love ...

*pukes* ... hahas ... pooh is gay ... pooh loves christopher robin ... lololol ... jkjk

in the middle of things ... received a call from chu ... it was regarding a job vacancy in sakae sushi call centre(or HQ ... not really sure) ... praise the lord ... the day before, during CG ... i shared about me quiting my job just after one day of work ... and i din expect to get another job this soon ... thanks chu ... God has blessed me thru you ...

we continued shopping and lazing around ... haha ... when i t was about time ... we left J8 for church ... since we were kinda early we started doing one of the DIY presents ... it din turn out as we expected ... but, oh well ... i mean it may not have turned out as expected ... but it still turned out great ... yeah ...

after power house ... reg, the others and i remained back to paint church ... our christmas big day is coming soon ... so the house of God is going for a minor make over ...

reg made her mark ... as in literally make a mark ... seven in the hall ... and she's proud of it as seven is a lucky number ... lol ... i did spill paint too ... at the doorstep of the toilet ... opps ...

warning ... stay away from perisa when she is painting ... reg will say amen to that ... haha ... i shall not say anything more abt this ... lol ... shhhhhh...

left church at about 11 20 ... but i felt unsatisfied with my incomplete job ... i still had about 1/10 of my painting job not done ... i wld like to stay longer to finish my task and help out with rest of the jobs ... but time din permit ... felt a little bad ... dumped my job to tit ... haha ... sorry guys ...

cell grp

2006-12-15T13:01:00.000+08:00

went for CG ytd ... i ~~skipped~~ one or two prev sessions ... hahas=x ...

met ben for dinner ... went to BK and talked about our classmates ... hahas ... in other words ... bitched about them ... hahas ... but of course ... only the truths ... hehe ...

i kept talking and talking that i couldnt finish my meal ... hahas ... this always happens to me ... if i din talk to someone for quite sometime ... den the next time when i do so ... i will go on and on ...

the last time why victim was mishal ... when i accidentally bumped into her ... and guess wat ... it was in the exact place ... thomson BK ... haha ... i guess the next one wld be syl ... after she comes back from indo ... hahas ...

brought ben to CG as well ... after jev ps me ... rarh ... haha ... i've to take over the game host job all by myself ... however ... for the past few sessions ... i dumped things back to fre ... sorry gal ... that was very irresponsible of me ... not that i din realise it ... but just that i cldn't care less ...

so this time ... i ve got to do wat i ve got to do ... so i took charge ... we played wacko ... and dammit ... i sld ve clearly stated that there will be a forfeit however that wld exclude the game host(thats me), if occurred so ... i hosted the game ... and i ve to do the forfeit as well ... bloody hell ... haha ...

pastor 1st said that i've to dance ... thanks to fre lah ... rarh ... haha ... den he said ... say one of your lines in your performance ... and i was like ... "that's all" ... haha ...

wat was shared today was about ... the 3 thing one sld never say ... and they are ...
1) no one cares about me / im alone all by myself
2) i wont suceed / im a failure
3) i quit

as for me ... in times of crisis ... im someone who tries to perservere ... however before that happens ... i will have a breakdown ... and when i breakdown one thing i always say is that, "i quit" ... but of course ... i dun mean wat i say all the time ...

i hope that i can overcome stage 1(when i breakdown) and go straightaway to stage 2(perserverance) ... yeah ...

after CG ... followed ben home ... halfway only though ... haha ... and again ... we kept talking and talking ... ben do you know that you've a really loud voice ... bah ... work out your vocal cords ... somethings are meant to be said in a much softer tone ... lololol ...

and reg had a new hair cut ... we intended to meet up before CG ... but since i went dinner with ben ... i cldn't meet up ... one reason why we wanted to meet up was because i wanted to see her new hair style so that i wont laugh or give comments about her tou fa in front of the whole CG ... since we din meet and she was late ... everyone's eyes was on her ... esp mine ... and i just burst into laughter ... lol ...

i mean it is like ... i ve got bad hair quite a lot of time ... it is kinda common to me ... so wat i like to tell to reg is that ... "welcome to the club" ... haha ... her hair style wasnt horrible or anything close ... just that i've never seen her like that before ...

i still can recall when glen and i got hold of reg's prom picture ... hahaha ... more like HAHAHAHA ... HAHAHAHAHAHA ... then and again ... not that it is not nice ... but just that we arent used to it yet ...

from late last night to early this morning ... i was in the phone chatting with ~~ms new hair style~~ i mean reg ... i just dun understand why i cant understand lame jokes ... it is either that they are too lame for me to understand ... or just that i'm not lame ... or maybe even that i'm dumb ... i mean this is not the first time lah ... i cant understand pa at sometimes ... and i need reg to interprete some of his quotes ... but even after that i dun see myself laughing ...

have i lost my sense of humour eversince being dissolved in a solvent called boredom ...

PAE results are out

2006-12-14T08:33:00.000+08:00

received a sms at 8:10 in the morning ...

"hey, which jc you are posted to"-benjamin ...

i totally forgot about ... seriously ... hahas ... intended to check the results in church with my friends ... in that case ... i've to wait till 5 ... but i cant hold the suspense any longer ...

ferdi ... sat for his Os last year ... he told me that for pae a score of 14 may get you into aj sci stream ... but this year ... it is not so ... ben had qa l1r5 of 14 pts but he was posted to nyjc instead ... nyjc is not a bad school ... in fact ... i love their ICS ... haha ...

i made it into aj sci ... for the 1st three months that is ... praise the lord ... i'm in cloud nine ...

wanna know why i ~~desperately~~ wanna get into ajc ... despite their campus is small and old ...

well the answer is ... (drum rolls please) ... the environment ... the peeps ... the other students ... the pressure ... the stress ... the competition ... the egoism ... and things like that ... yeah ... it being the sixth best jc in s'pore ... it has all the stuff mentioned above ...

from my point of view ... i think i can excel in my studies there ... all jcs ultimately sit for the same exam ... but from now till the A level ... there's lots of time ... and this is when you are very influenced by your peers ... so choose the right peeps to hang out with ... yeah ...

i quit ...

2006-12-13T18:01:00.000+08:00

went job hunting with sheereen and jeslin on mon ... and got job in less than two hours ... we had to go to this mall called ... "singapore shopping centre" ... i din know that this mall even existed ... lol ...

guess wat ... theres something terribly wrong with the name ... it was definitely not meant for shopping ... most of the tenants were offices ... lol ... there was like no life at all ...

we kinda got on to the lady's nerves ... wat was her name again ... gi gi or cherrie or cherry or somethin like that ... lol ... we din make an appointment and just walked right into her office ...

the job is known as ... event promoter ... got to do with sales and marketing ... arent they the same ... lol ... get to lots of interaction with the public ... sounded like fun ... but ... not really ...

and the pay is like so good ... ranges from $300 to $3000 ... ma ma mia ... that is like lots of diff ... the 3 of us were like floating in air ... thinking about how to spend the money ... shee was like "i can by 'prison break' vcd" ... lol

today ... first day of work ... was all so excited ... but that din last for long ...

met lots of peeps ... most of them were from ajc ... haha ... waiting to get into NS ...

oh yar ... as jes and i were waiting for desmond, the supervisor, i was "blessed" by a bird ... if you get wat i mean ... haha ... jes was like ... go buy 4D ... lol ...

we were posted to raffles place today ... had to give away 20 vouchers each day ... but since it was our 1st day ... we only need to do half the workload ... sounds easy right? ... think again ...

in 4 hours ... i only got 8 ... jes got over 15 ... i sucked ... maybe because i'm a guy ... i cant smile my way thru ... haha ... some other managed to give away less than 5 ... so im not that bad afterall ...

there were four criteria to be met ... out of my 8 customers ... only 3 were sucessful ... whether they are sucessful anot affects me as well ... that's where my comission comes in ...

and for today since i failed to meet the quota ... i dun get my basic pay ... and my comission for the day was only $2 ... pathetic ... 50 cents per hour ... are you kiddin me ... i quit ...

it has been a long time ...

2006-12-11T18:27:00.000+08:00

have not been bloggin for a really long time ... so many things have happened in the 3 months ...

O level ...
lost the momentum after the prelims ... kinda worried about the results ... gd thing was that my papers ended earlier than most others ... hahas ... but had abt 3 papers each day ... that was where stressed sets in ... but mow that it is over ... it is so relieving ... however ... the tots abt getting back the results is haunting me ... ok ok ... maybe not to that extreme ...

prom nite ...
the prom nite was great ... haha ... had so much of fun ... lol ...
prom queen went to a drama mama ... lol ... we rawk ... hahas ... got some prom pics below ... my class guys commented that prom turned porn ... hahas ... kinda agree ... in church ... lots of peeps say "see it, have it " ... that night ... the emcee said ... "have it, flaunt it" ... lololol ... and the girls sure did ... not all of them of course ...
this wld not have been possible if the school had taken charge ... yeap ... the whole thing was student initiated ... hahas ... hey sec 3s ... you prom nite will not be as fun as ours ... thats for sure ... hahas ...

2e1 class gathering
did not attend ... had a bible study class to attend ... asked around my christian friends in e1 ... majority said bbs ... so bbs it is ... sorry mishal ...

year end production ...
we started of with the dirty laundry script ... baring in mind the copyright fee and all ... it was scraped off ...
so the next big idea was to be orginal ... we came up with our own script ... took us about a week ... we wld have taken longer if not for our hero ... broy ... lol ...
but the play was way too long .. more than an hour ... mr chua was like the script was more of a movie than a play ... we had lots of changes in scenes ... and that is definitely a no no for a good play ...
so we had to do another script ... we only had two weeks ... fortunately ... we had talent by our sides ... hahas ... we came up with one in two day ... that's a record time for a year end production ... hahas ... we also intended to do a dance ... and they both turned out great ... yeah ... wei loon filmed it all ... hope she posts it on youtube soon ... not many from class and church came to watch ... sad ...
and the junior had a surprise segment for the sec 4s ... i was kinda touched ... haha ... thanks guys ... and also for your gifts ...
after the show ... the sec 4s gave ourselves a treat ... we went to esplanade to eat pizza ... hahas ... den we made our way to an arcade at dhoby gaut ... on our way we sang christmas carols ... lol ... it was so fun to do it with your friends by your side ... and wats up with the girls man ... haha .. they could not take "five golden rings" off their heads ... haha ... we experimented the difference amplitudes of longitudinal waves ... lolol ... shut up josh ...

sadly ... everything is coming to an end ... sob sob ... now looking for a job ...

trip to palawan beach and vivo city

2006-11-26T09:45:00.000+08:00

jennifer*suxin*chang sheng

ziwei*ME*sheereen*athena

the submerged head on the left side of the pic ... i dun know who or what ... but probably someone who suceeded in attempting suicide after watchin korean drama series ... lol ...

rabiah*sheereen*benjamin*athena*ME*broy

broy*benjamin*athena*ME
suxin*sheereen

same location ... but a closed up picture ...

(from the top:) broy*ben*ME*athena*rabiah

ben is a shy boy ... lolol ... athena wld have seemed obscene if rabi wasnt there ... haha ... crazy fun

random pic of sheereen floating in mid air ... haha ... she really is ... thanks to broy skills and gadgets ... haha ... the next logic man of eone? ... hahas ...

Prom pics I

2006-11-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

these are some of the prom pictures ... haha

lilan

li hui

joanna

sheereen

dilys

Prom pics II

2006-11-24T22:30:00.000+08:00

ruth * chrislynn

jennifer

wan chin * yee wen
ee ting
jia yu * afifah * cai ling * ME * sheereen

shi wei

Prom pics III

2006-11-24T22:26:00.000+08:00

yuxin

broy

en hui

fifa's aunt deco ... we broy, yu hong and i burned the rose petal til crispy ... lol ...

love the flower

sheereen ... i din take this pic ... did i hear someone say broy ... hahas

dun you dare defy the laws of physic

2006-09-27T14:58:00.000+08:00

oh man ... i've understood the whole of electronics wrongly ...

when temperature increases

-> resistance of the thermistor decreases

-> voltage across the thermistor decreases

-> low input into NOT gate

-> high output

this is the correct one ... ihad always thought that it had got to do with the current and not the voltage ...

and it was only today that i found out that there are 2 different kinds of voltage ... (1) potential ... wat on earth is this ... emf i suppose ... pls correct me ... (2) potential difference ...

phy pract was kinda fun ... at the beginning i was like ... josh wat on earth are you trying to do ... but it turned out that my answer was the exact perfect one ... wahahahahaha ... am i great or am i GREAT ... hehe ... jkjk ...

mrs tan said ... "no moderation would be done at all ... it is the school's policy" ... stupid lah ... i cant go to AJ ... sob sob ...

ONVM ... i can do better in my Os ... yeah ... we all can do better ... yeah ... jia you peeps ...

A B C ... errr ... wat comes after that ...

2006-09-27T14:48:00.000+08:00

BREAKING NEWS of the DAY
benjamin tan zhi yang doesnt know his A B C ... ltmar ...

ask him what comes after "F" ... he will say "E" ... lol ... it is "G" lor ...

ok ... it is not only him ... sel as well ... hahas ...

yx: wat is after "K"?
wk: errr...
me: "L" ... like DUH ...
sel: NOooo ... it is "M" ...
yh: aiya ... next time sing the ABC song lah ...

hahas ...

prelim results

2006-09-26T14:39:00.000+08:00

got back the rest of my results ... sucks man ... ytd was full of good news ... but today ... sad syal ...

english

P1 ... (dun rmb)
P2 ... (dun rmb)
oral ... 16/20
overall ... 58% (C5)
expected grade B3 ... only one in my class got a B3 ... a handful got B4 ... mostly Cs

yw: ur class got back eng already ?...
me: yar ... sad syal ...
yw: mrs hee said only 5 in my class(E3) passed ... ur class(Eone) leh ?...
me: only 4 ...
yw: wah ...
me: im not done yet ... only 4 failed ...
yw: wth ... ur L1R5 leh ?...
me:(scroll down to find out)
yw: ... [SCREAMS] ...

Comb humanities

~lit
textual ... 18/25
unseen ... 12/25
~ss
SBQ ... 11.5/25
SEQ ... 12.5/25
overall ... 54% (C6)
expected grade B3 ... for lit ... my unseen pulled me down ... rarh ... misintepreted one of the question ... so fail liao ... but for the grass is singing alone ... i got an A2 ... vow ... din expect that ... for ss ... i wrote ... lots and lots ... well ... lots and lots of crap ... i din expect to fail though ... din do well for both sections ... sob sob ... juz one more mark for sbq ... ill pass ss ... and will have an overall of a C5 ... sad syal ...

L1R5
eng + 2 maths + 2 sciences + 1 humanities
5 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 3
= 12
expected score 8 t0 10 ... sob sob ... i cant go AJ anymore ... NOOOooooo... ... this aint happening ... i hope there is a moderation done ... for english esp ...

10 pts ... tz
11 pts ... kl, lil, sx

i need to do my very best for my Os ... jia you ...

bowen so good arhx ... cannot believe ler ...

2006-09-25T17:57:00.000+08:00

MOE has ranked ma sch as one of the 50 schools in singapore ... lol ... i mean ... thats great ... out of the 100 over schools ... we are in the top fifty ... woo hoo ... heard that the last time bowen was in the top 50 was 10 years ago ... one decade liao ... hahas ...

the school are split into 9 band for the express stream ... based on academic achievements, physical & aesthetics and wateva nots ... we are in the last band ... lol ... but at least top fifty ... yeah ...

proud to ba bowenian ... hehe ...

bowen ke ma ma ...
ole ole ah ah ...
shake it up yeah ...
shake it up yeah ...
Go bowen ...

prelim results

2006-09-25T16:54:00.000+08:00

have received seven subjects outta 10 ...

tamil
P1 SA ... 15/20
P1 SB ... 34/50
P2 ... 51/70
overall ... 71.4% (A2)
expectation met

emath
P1 ... 68/80
P2 ... 86/100
overall ... 85.5 (A1)
expectation met

amaths
P1 ... 56/80
P2 ... 67/80
overall ... 76.9% (A1)
expected grade A2 ... woo hoo ... did beta den expected ... from an F9 to an A1 ... wow ... thats a big dif

physics
P1 ... 30/40
P2 SA ... 35/45
P2 SB ... 26/30
P3 ... 28.5/30
overall ... 82.4% (A1)
expectation met ... had second thoughts that my expectation was too high ...

chemistry
P1 ... 33/40
P2 SA ... 36/50
P2 SB ... 11/30
P3 ... 21/40
overall ... 63.8% (B4)
expected grade A1 ... very dissapointed ... bah ... failed section B ... ~~benjamin tan zhi yang~~ ... stop showing off ... rarh ... practical pulled me down as well ... got full marks for titration though ...

biology
P1 ... 34/40
P2 SA ... 24/30
P2 SB ... 44/50
P3 ... 25/40
overall ... 79.4% (A1)
expectation met ... practical pulled down my marks ... dun know how to draw the fruit ... or was it a seed ... lol ...

core geography
P1 ... 35/40
P2 ... 61.5/100
overall ... 69.3% (B3)
expected grade A2 ... missed by 1% ... rarh ... fustrating ... as i have said before ... i misintepreted the weathering question picture ... ms suan """"thnx"""" for telling the whole class my mistake ... bah ... jkjk ... i only scored 10 outta 25 for that ... sad syal ... at least got higher than ron for that question ... wahahahaha

i have yet to receive eng lit and ss ... most probably will be getting them tomorrow ... gosh ... these are my weaker subject ... scary ... i dun wanna fail my eng lang ... i so wanna get a B3 ... den my L1 R5 would be 10 pts ... i dun wanna get a C ... neither wld i wanna get a failing grade in my report card ...

Jesus you rawk ma world ... yeah man ... AMEN ...

it is about time ...

2006-09-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

it has been at least fifteen weeks ... almost four months ... since i last spoke to them as a friend ... vow ... that is definitely long ...

we are in the same class ever since sec 1 ... yet treat one another like strangers ... have been good budds for the whole of last year ... but had considered one another enemies in the four month period ...

it is about time that we forget our past ... and build a new and stronger relationship ... yeah ... im so glad ... we are back together again ... it might not be like last year ... those fun fun kinda thing ... but at least we are still friends ... yeapx ....

cant wait to hang out with yall again ... oooh ... and depavali is comin soon ... lets go tekka and depa expo like last year ... hahas ... so fun ... so fun ... i still can rmb ... everything that happened that day ... hahas ...

we are gonna have fun this time round as well ... woo hoo ... cant wait ...

you de man ...

2006-09-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

i cant believe im saying this ... lolx ...

titus ... you are my hero ... ltmar ... hehe ...

thnx for helping me, man ... i owe you one ... but not swensens ... hahas ...

prelim results

2006-09-23T08:14:00.000+08:00

got back my amaths phy bio and geog results today ... satisfactory ... except for geog ... just one more mark in my paper 2 wld improve my grad ... bah ... but couldnt find that one ~~fcuking~~ mark ... dammit ... ms suan we are yall only graduating PURE geog class lor ... muz support us leh ... lolx ...

the rest of the subjects(el/tl/em/chem/lit/ss) chers will be comin to the class on mon ... aft i have gotten all my results ... den i shall post them ... my exp result for the Os ... (on your right) ... also applies for the prelims ... God im in need of you ...

wateva i've received so far are my stronger subjects ... im more of a maths-science person ... not the humanities-language type ... so wateva i've received so far are largely good news ... but it is not time for me to celebrate yet ... there's more to come ...

im afraid that i might have not done as well as expected in the other subjects ... namely com.humans(lit+ss) and eng ... esp eng ... that is like the most impt subject ... mrs tan said that the level ... as a whole ... din do very well in the paper ... chr said that there wldnt be any moderation done either ... wth ... aint the sch suppose to help us ... bah ...

gosh ... scared liao ... i seriously dun wanna fail ... a B3 is expected ... a B4 wld aso be fine ... but no a C ... a fail ... thats worst ... i dun wanna have anything lower that a B in my cert liao ...

i really really really wanna get into a science stream an ajc ... i always wanted to get in to that school ever since pri 5 ... hahas ... but over the years ... esp this year ... i've heard lots of negative comments about the school ... but i still wanna go there ... lolx ...

but if i dun get into ajc ... den to bad lor ... ill only receive wat i deserve so yeah ... the next thing that wld be in my mind is nyjc ... or biotech in ngeeann poly ...

mr chan is right ... the prelims is definitely NOT a true reflection of the Os ... so those who got an A ... dun be foolish to be complacent ... those who got a C ... dun be foolish to loose hope ...

mrs shankar said dun lose the momentum ... hahas ... i've lost it already ... bah ... now need to start from the start ... i can do it anything thru christ who strengthens me ... yeah ... amen ...

hlc peeps ... do pray for syl jev reg kar nao edm and me ... we need your support thru encouragement and prayer ... go team ... yeah ...

taste buds

2006-09-23T07:44:00.000+08:00

Do you think im bitter? ...

! ... erm ... OWTH ...

but i think ...

im(or i will be in 2 yrs' time) spicy ...

feel the sizzle ...

get wat i mean ... hahas

hidden message

2006-09-22T21:13:00.000+08:00

found out that lots of peeps really bothered to try tracing the statement in the stussy signature (below) ... hahas ... wanna have more fun? ... hehe ...

there is also another statement that some other people ... who obviously got nth beta on earth to do ... have came up with ...

and that is ... (drum rolls pls) ...

I am gay ... NO ... i'm not gay ... i straight liao .... no wild imaginations ... ltmar .... hahas ... wat i meant was that ...

the statement is ... "I am GAY" ... hahas ... try it ...

hidden message

2006-09-19T17:17:00.000+08:00

TZ, Job, Athena, Stef, Gaya

and (not forgetting our dear) Gay Boy

Remember THIS!!! ...

last december ... the 7 of us attended a summer school in trinity college, MelUni ... so of us went for a module on advertising and persuasion ... and learnt about how images play with our sub conscious and un conscious mind ...

the above picture show the logo of the brand STUSSY ...

can you trace out the word S-T-U-S-S-Y ...

ok ... now try this ...

ma idol (mrs ng ... lol) said that there is another hidden message in there ...

and that is ...

SATAN is KING!...

try tracing that out ...

when she first told us that ... i freaked out ... coz i was only a new born believer then ...

but now ... that im a year old christian(since 3rd september) ... ill say, without any doubt in my heart, that JESUS is ma King ... yeah ...

G O D

have you ever feel like breaking down ... have you ever feel like out of place ......

2006-09-18T16:15:00.000+08:00

have you ever felt as though you were being ostracized ...

well ... sadly ... i experienced it this very day in my tamil class ...

main reason ... i was clique ... that my prob ... i've got lots of clique ... in different classes ... in cca ... in church ... everywhere ...

and in ma tamil class ... im the only one in ma clique retakin my tamil paper ... too bad for me ... im all alone now ...

i have a strong feeling in me ... as though im outcasted ... for being the only EONE ... in the other words ... a geek ... lol ... i cant believe that i actually called myself a geek! ... lol ... im definitely not a geek lor ... in fact ... im one of the slacker(in my form class, that is) ...

like i've said before ... in the Os in the mid yr ... i received a B3 and a distinction ... and the main reason im re taking the paper was bcos ~~my pa~~ that guy (the exact same person i mentioned about in turquoise in my entry ytd) said that i sld ... then, he said he had two words for me ... "GO FIGHT (the battle)" ... i decided to follow his advice as i was really confused then ...

and these idiots in my class find it so dumb ... bah ... wateva lor ... there even students who got A2s retaking the paper ... aint that even worst ... go bitch abt them ... why me ... to begin with ... i got nth to do with yall lor ...

being ostracised ... is it part of fighting the battle ... in that case ... im ready to ~~admit defeat~~ ... josh ... ~~you're a loser~~ ...

no ... i wont let it happen ... yo peeps ... go on bitching about me ... lets see who get the last laugh ... but one thing is for sure ... even then ... i would not be laughing at your defeat ... but will laughing in joying ... sharing with my best friend-Jesus ...

Jesus, You are my best friend
You will always be
and nothing will ever change that!!!

clap people, clap

2006-09-18T15:49:00.000+08:00

today ... prize were given out for the best class in each level ... wanna know for wat exactly ... it was perfect attendance(as in no late comers) ... lol ... ma BOWEN is definitely a quirky school ... i love it ... yeah ...

this whole thing reminded me of the dettol advertisement ... "for the last 3 years ... this award has been not claimed ... blah blah ..." ... yeah that one ... actually it also applies to my school ... this din happen in the last 3 years ... not that i can remember of ...

for the lower sec ... i dun rmb ... bah ... for the sec 3 ... it went for 3e1 ... lol ... and those peeps cheered and stuff ... so unexpected ... ma class never ... (let me say that again NEVER) did that ... not last year ... not this year ... even when anyone in the class goes up stage to get awards or certs or thing like that ... dey dun even bother to cheer ... bah ... hate my class ...

"and now for the sec 4s"... i had a hunch i that ma class wld get it ... duh ... who takes the attendance ... none other than MUA ... so of course i noe lah ... but din really tell anyone ... as it would be really embarrassing if it wasnt us ... hehe ...

so ... as expected ... it went to the EONEs ... yeah ... and as expected ... not many in my class applauded ... EONE sux ... bah ...

jes went up to get the prize ... it was all so weird ... lol ...

the prize was a whole bag of chocolates ... ooooh ... ~~i like~~ I LOVE ...

then, back in class ... mrs tan gave sussie and i ... the "honour" to distribute the choc ... lol ... wateva lor ... hahas ... oooh ... i got an extra bar ... a reward for taking attendance every morning ... hahas ...

check this out ...

2006-09-18T15:41:00.000+08:00

what do you see?

you'll read the word "GOOD" in black ...

but ...

if you see it carefully...

there is more than that ...

in white(inside each black letter) ...

you'll see the word EVIL ...

awesome ...

indeed... good can't exist without evil ...

heyas ... it has definitely been a long time ....

2006-09-17T10:58:00.000+08:00

it has been more than 2 week since my last entry was up ... vow that is really long

many thought that i was using the time to mug for my prelims ... hmmm ... to a certain extent ... yar ... but the main reason was that ... there were so many things happening that i wanted to speak my mind out thru this blog ... but i reframed myself from doing so ... as i din wanna be offensive ...

indeed ... i am a mr nice guy ... it wld have been so much easier if i had just vomitted out everything here ... but i din wanna be nasty ... (and that does not mean that i wldnt ever be nasty) ...

like i said before ... lots of things have happened ... in sch ... in church ... and at home ... was most affected by wat happened at home ... but of course .... it wld be inappropriate if i shared it here ...

the next on the list ... things in church ... here, i consider the word church as a collective noun ... refering to god, ministry, cell group, pastor and the fellow believers ... i just dun like the way things go ... maybe it is becoz it is the way i see them ... but then and again ... im not the only one who has developed such feelings ... ~~there is a handful~~ ... ~~if you hadnt had realised~~ ...

the worst thing is that ... i trusted someone more than everyone and anyone ... i even wanted to develop a relationship with this person ... of course, a healthy one ... i shouldnt have ... i really shouldnt have ... i should have reserved the place for god, for jesus ...

how could i have just let anyone take that place ... (if im not clear here ... wat i meant was that ... i gave the person that place, it is not he/she took the place for him/herself) ... but i thought he/she cld help me ... well nth seems to get better ... in fact ... i have been put into more trouble ... and this person ... he/she ~~never~~ not always keeps his/her words ...

i thought with his/her help i'll chg but im the still the same old kartik ...

a friend ... ok maybe not ... a classmate said this ... "look at your IC! you're'nt josh ... you're kartik" ....... he is so rite ... im not josh-ua or joshua ... i was never that ... im kartik ... KARTIK GAYAN son of RAJARAM ... not JOSH-ua son of^n GOD ...

i had a feeling ... (now it has been triggered again) ... as though i was being taken advantage of as i was being a mr nice guy ... wats wrong in being nice ... does being nice equivalates to being a fool, who would do wateva he is instructed ... im not a puppet ... and that will never be ... bah ...

and wats up with her, man ... wat did i do ... the only thing i asked you to do was to get your job ... it had been expected of you ...as i had reminded you not once ... not twice ... but thrice ... aint it suppose to be me being irrtated with you ... and not the other way round ... like i mentioned earlier ... i nvr gonna be a mr nice guy no more ... i cant be doing ur job ... afterall it was such an easy task of ~~purchasing serviettes~~ ... you cant even do that ... you ~~bimbotic slut~~ ... golly

ok ok enough of ~~sickening~~ church ... in sch ... yar ... obviously the exams have put me down ... all my last mintue revision ... din pay me off ... duh ... it was last min ...

gosh ... the last time i was a slacker like this was in sec 2 ... but she was there for me ... like a best friend ... like a well wisher ... like an angel ... she gave me all the encouragement i needed ... i chged for the better becoz of her ... and without her i dun think i would have remained in the first class ... probably i wld have been joining nic to be promoted(or demoted) from the first class to the very last class ...

thnx to her ... im still and eone now ... but ever since wateva happened before the june holidays ... she has broken up the relationship with me ... im sorry ... i was dumb den ... i sld have followed you ... i sldnt have followed the crowd ... i really sldnt have ...

im in terrible need of you to chg me (again) for the better ... will you forgive me ... wont you ever forgive me ... it has been more than two months since watevanot happened ... but less than two for wateva need to happen ... the Os i mean ...

but i guess ... it is over btw us ... but do understand im deprived of your concern ... those short sweet nice moments really meant a lot to me ... as no one (except from my mum and sis) show such care on me any more ... not even the person (mentioned above) ...

being in the first class is definitely not easy ... you have to put up with those show offs ... rarh ... i cant them ... in fact it is not a them ... it is a you ... i feel like shouting, "SHUT UP, BASTARD!!!" right at your face in front of lots of people ... and that would definitely happen if you open your bloody mouth just to praise your self and make the others around you to feel dumb ... bah ...

cant wait for the year to end .... not that im excited abt the Os and cant wait to sit for them ... but becoz that i dun have to face such idiot like you every morning while taking attendance ...

and peeps pls stop talking abt church and me ... esp you tan ben ... rarh ... i dun need you to go ard telling peeps that im a church maniac ... dun worry ... i sld back slide ... if that is wat you want ... than wait till the end of the year .... im evacuating .... yeah ...

anw sorry dil that i've turned down your offer to help me with my walk with god ...

prelim papers- update on performance

2006-08-30T19:41:00.000+08:00

finally ... the exams are ~~over~~ ... for the moment at least ... sheesh ...

on mon ... sat for geog ... only the geoggies had to turn up for my class ... the elective ... a.k.a the impures ... (they dun thake pure geog so they called themselves that ... lolx) din have to come to sch ... blehx ...

the e4 and e5 had their comb sci pract ... whereas the e2 and e3 had to come to sch ... to waste time ... de best thing is that ... the EONEs get to leave early ... rite aft our paper 2 ... wahahaha ...

i attempted 3 physical(weather&climate, N.Vegetation/weathering, and plate tectonics) and 1 human(population) questions ...

for question 2b ... there was this picture ... looked like rice terraces ... lol ... but it was definitely not that ... hahas ... was suppose to identify the weathering process ... wat de ... look so weird it should be physical or ~~chemical~~ or ~~biological~~ ... since the rocks seemed stepped ... i tot it might be unloading ... but considering part 2a ... which was about cool temperate climate in russia(unloading in russia at a place that cold ... dream on) ... i decided on frost shattering ...

i asked msuan after the paper ... and she said it was unloading and both parts of the questions had no links ... just that the fall in the same question no. ... rarh ...

the plate tectonic qn was also about tsunamis ... woo hoo ... i mean ... sob sob ... hehe ... it is kinda of an exciting process how a tsunamis is triggered ... but when it comes to the effects ... thats the sad part ... one of questions asked ... y are there differents degrees of damage ... uh oh ... how wld i noe ... i din experience it ... and even if i did ... i wonder whether i wld be still alive ...

talking tsunamis ... i thank god for saving my good friend yx's life and his family's ... oooh guess wat ... i called him juz now ... he wasnt at home ... his mum answered ... and she recognised my voices ... vow ... thats so nice ... she still rmb me when the last time i saw her was last december ... =)

okok ... enough of geog ... on tues had eng lang paper 1 and 2 ... (no comments) ... yeah ... dun ask ... oooh ... syl ... our compre passage 1 was also on archaeology ... lolx ...

today ... sat for ss and emath paper 1 ... ss ... hmmm ... decontextralised SBQ on the UN ... manageable ... i guess ... for the SEQ ... thank god ... the very first qn was on merger and seperation ... wahahahaha ... that is the only chapter that i can clearly rmb every tiny winy detail ...

the bad thing was that ... no time ... no time ... sharks ... i did not finish the paper ... for the 2nd SEQ stopped at L4 ans ... that is ... did not have enough time to go on to the the weigh and link part ... sob sob ...

the emaths paper was manageable lah ... but was stuck at one question as i couldnt prove something ... it is was becos i went wrong with the very first step itself ... calculation error ... no wonder lor ... darn ... onvm ...

now i can relax a bit ... before the next tsunami of exams ... wahahaha ...

random

2006-08-26T11:12:00.001+08:00

I'M HOT ... SHE'S SEXY ...

lol ...

this is so random ... hahas ...

does god exist?

2006-08-25T18:54:00.000+08:00

There were two roommates in college, one a believer and one not. One day they were discussing the validity of God. The believer said to the non-believer, give me five good reasons why God does not exist and we will go from there. The nonbeliever thought for a while and finally came up with his five reasons.

He said to the believer,
"can you see God?"

"No," said the believer.

"Can you smell God?"

"Not really," said the believer.

"Can you touch God?"

"No," said the believer.

"What about taste?"

"No," said the believer.

"Well can you hear God?".

"Well, ya I can hear God, in the wind and stuff".

"Well," said the nonbeliever, "four out five, God does not exist."

The believer thought and asked for a while to think about it. Finally he came back and said to his friend,
"Okay. Can you touch your brain?"

"No."

"Can you see your brain?"
"Nope."

"Can you smell your brain?"

"No."

"What about hear it?"

"I guess not," replied the nonbeliever

"Then can you taste your brain?"

"No."

"Well then," said the believer, "I guess it is pretty obvious. Five out five, you have no brain."

prelim practical ...

2006-08-25T13:28:00.000+08:00

im dead meat ... i think i flung all my practicals ... sharks ... need to work harder ... need to work harder ...

the powers of eyes ...

2006-08-23T14:53:00.000+08:00

after chem pract ... as we were leaving ... ~~ms lee~~ (i cant chg it) mrs ng walked in to the lab ... teachers are the best people who can communicate with their eyes ... with their stares ... which means lots of things ... lolx ...

as she walked in ... i was like ... "ms lee, i fail already liao!"

Jng's stare no.1 ... interpretation: de 'you cant trick me' stare ...
if put in words => " 'rite', kartik ... i believe you!" ...

den i was like ... "no, serious! i mixed up the solutions! i flung the whole pract ... DIE .. " ...

Jng's stare no.2 ... interpretation: de 'wat de hell' stare ...
if put in words => " wat?! after all those practices you did ... and the notes i gave out ... how could you?" ...

and so i was like ... "(hahas) ... just kidding!"

Jng's stare no.3 ... interpretation: de 'not again' stare ...
if put in words => "oh man ... why do i always fall for it!"

not the DaVinci code ... not the singapore idol's JaVinci code ... this is the JerMinci code ... wahahahaha ...

2006-08-23T14:28:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY, ARUNA ...

hey gals look at me ... think back and wave at me ?

2006-08-23T14:15:00.000+08:00

jac and miao ... i noe ... that i remind yall of 5566 ... im just as hot as them ... oh pardon me ... im so much HOTTER than renfu ... ok ... i will be in a couple of years' time ...

but yall dun have to wave at me where ever i go ... i noe ... my middle name popularity ... hahas ... yall dun have to remind me lorx ... hehe ...

dun you noe who i am ... rmb my name FAME ...

chem prelim practical ...

2006-08-23T13:49:00.000+08:00

today is the start of my prelims practicals ... which will go on till the end of the week ... (sigh) ... only maRta wished me all the best ... no one else from hlc ~~bothered~~ did ... im insignificant ... oh well ... hahas ... jkjk ...

gosh ... this is my worst chem pract ever ... seriously ... i was doing everything wrongly ... right from the start ...

i swaped the solution ... i solution Q in the burette and P in the pipette ... it suppose to be the other way round ... golly ... and it was only ten minutes after i realised my mistake ... rarh ...

the last time when we used screened methyl orange in class ... i was absent ... wat i know from my background knowledge was that ...
screened metyl orange
acid -> red
neutral -> grey
alkali -> green ...

grey? ... wat grey? ... where got solution turn grey one ... lol ... hey ... im not suppose to be laughing ... sob sob ...

den after all the calculations and all my answer was Q contains 0.101 mol/dm^3 ... good thing is that ... my answer is a close to job's ... wahahaha ... i tot i anyhow do one ...

wat is solution P?
from the question it is known that it is an acid ... we were asked to identify the acid ... according to my observations ... it had both NH^4+ and Cl^1- in it ... wat de crap ... so wat is it ... HCl or HNO3 ...

i repeated my experiment ... the same observations ... DIE ... wat to do ... aiya ... dun care ... just tikam ... ok ... HCl is very common ... so i chose the odef one ... ie HNO3 ... as far as i know ... oni joanne ziwei and i i dentified it so ... most of the others stated that it was HCl ... oh man ...

den for the second part ... identfication of ions ... darn ... how to differentiate Pb^2+ and Al^3+ ... reagent not provided ... DIE ... DIE ... aiyo ... like wat ben always says ... DK DC DB ... which means ... DUN KNOW ... DUN CARE ... DUN BOTHER ...

my answers were as follow ...
T contains Pb^2+, AL^3+ and Cl^1-
S is a reducing agent ...

i hope i did great for my practical ... but considering all those mistakes and stuff ... maybe not ... but i will still hope ...

tomorrow physics pract ... all the best josh-ua lee kah teck ... you de MAN ...

life sux ...

2006-08-22T14:19:00.000+08:00

things at home are getting worser and worser each day ... cant stand it anymore ...

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

christian-cut or uncut?

2006-08-21T18:16:00.000+08:00

last service ... pastor shared about circumcision in his preaching ... got this article from the net ...

What does the New Testament say about circumcision?

Jesus Christ is the New Covenant, rendering all of the Old Testament practices, including the Abrahamic covenant of circumcision, null and void.

When the Gospel was to be spread to the Gentile world, during the time of St. Paul, circumcision of Gentile converts was a matter of intense debate. Circumcision was dangerous, painful, and culturally repugnant to the Greeks and Romans. Early Christian church authorities quickly decided that circumcision was unnecessary.

"For freedom, Christ has set us free; stand fast therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. Now I, Paul, say to you that if you receive circumcision, Christ will be of no advantage to you. I testify again to every man who receives circumcision that he is bound to keep the whole law. You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law; you have fallen away from grace. For through the Spirit, by faith, we can wait for the hope of righteousness. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision is of any avail, but faith working through love."
[ Galatians 5:1-6 ]

"It is those who want to make a good showing in the flesh that would compel you to be circumcised, and only in order that they may not be persecuted for the cross of Christ. For even those who receive circumcision do not themselves keep the law, but they desire to have you circumcised that they may glory in your flesh. But far be it from me to glory except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. For neither circumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation. Peace and mercy be upon all who walk by this rule, upon the Israel of God."
[ Galatians 6:12-16 ]

"Look out for the dogs, look out for the evil-workers, look out for those who mutilate the flesh. For we are the true circumcision, who worship God in spirit, and glory in Christ Jesus, and put no confidence in the flesh."
[ Philippians 3:2-3 ]

This was nearly 2,000 years ago. Throughout most of history, and in most parts of the world today, Christians are rarely circumcised. In many cultures, people are often not even aware of what circumcision is.

source: http://www.noharmm.org/

2006-08-21T16:26:00.000+08:00

if i were a fish in your underwater world ... what fish would that be ...

an angelfish ...

a goldfish ...

a stonefish ...

a shark ...

a pirana ...

a dolphin ... or ...

a swordfish ....

tag ur answers ... i'll post what each fish symbolise soon ....

Forgive me O Great One

2006-08-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

I have made You too small in my eyes
Oh Lord, forgive me
And I have believed in a lie
That You are unable to help me

I have leaned on a wisdom of men
Oh Lord, please forgive me
And I have responded to them
Instead of Your light and Your mercy

But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show
Yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified

Be magnified, Oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing You can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on You
Be magnified,Oh Lord, be magnified

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
[ James 4:8 ]

stupid me ...

2006-08-20T08:36:00.000+08:00

ytd was my worst ~~fcukin~~ day ever ... it was all bcoz ... i went to church ... yeah ... if i hadnt had ... things wld be much beta ...

last night ... i intended to post an entry of this person ... who i have respected this far(who i will still continue to respect) ... but have just realised that he was controlling my life ...

however ... just before i was going to post it ... the laptop batt went flat ... oh gosh ... that was really irritating ... it added on to the hatred that i had for that day ...

i couldnt do my QT as well ... but i forced myself to do it ... it turned to be very short ... i guess that God din want me to post that entry ... well that wat i feel ...

wateva it is ... i can express myself by other means ... and i've already done that ...

but i feel so bad now ... this sucks ... i tot that he was making me feel bad for all those thing i did against his will ... but now ... i making my own self miserable for talking so rudely to him like that ...

to me it seems like everything has ended last night ... in just of a snap of a finger ... i shouldnt have ... i really shouldnt have made that hasty decision ...

but now that i've already made it ... i have to stand firm ... well ... that was one of the things that he wanted in me ...

now ... the only thing ~~i would like to~~ or rather i can say is that ...

... Pa ... im terribly sorry ... ... ...

i sldnt have gone for service ... i really sldnt have ...

2006-08-19T21:35:00.000+08:00

today was the ~~fcukin~~ worst day ever ... i sldnt have gone to church ... it is all becoz of this church ... rarh ... i sld have went to the dinner with my ctss friends ... sharks ...

one of the reason why din go for the dinner ... and instead ... went for the sucky tuition ministry and service ... was becoz of him ... yeah him ... im saying this with utter frustration ... rarh ... so ... in other words ... it is his fault for this day to be my worst day ...

i've always thought that whatever he said was all for my own good ... the main or rather the only reason why im retaking my 'O' level tamil paper again ... is becoz he said so ...

but ... i guess not ... it was so stupid of me to listen to his says ... i should have made my own decisions ... rather than have him make for me ... or in other words be ordered by him ... stupid me ...

i was just too dependent on him ... i should have known that at the end of the day ... he is no one to me ... well ... this occured to me sometimes ... but i always said to myself that ... he is more than a mere stranger to me ... which i shouldnt have ...

it is not only him ... you have read abt a him so far ... now ... a her ... i wouldnt have turned up for cell group this week either ... my sch was to appear on national television that very day ... and i had to miss it ... becoz of cg ...

ben was so right about my hlc peeps ... stupid me for not listening to him and defending my the hlc peeps ... i have to put an end to being a mr nice guy ... esp in church ...

one thing that can be clearly seen is that ~~hlc peeps are all sadist~~ ... oh yes they are ...

cell grp

2006-08-18T15:00:00.000+08:00

ytd had cg ... i was asked to conduct the game for the day ... but was only told the day before ... usually i will be told on sat the pre week ... but this time it wasnt actually my turn ... it was jev's ... unfortunately ... she couldnt make it ... so i had to take over ...

oooh ... the game so fun ... so fun ... hahas ... we played ... taboo ... hahas ... i love that game ever since we played it in mrs tan's class a few weeks back ... i hope the others enjoyed the games as well ... did yall? ...

den as usual ... we prayed and stuff ... hahas ...

den after cell ... pa ask me why i din fill up the prayer drive chart ... since last week ... he tot that i stopped praying ... lol ... of course i did pray ... hahas ... but juz dun feel like writing ... wats de point ... just becoz i dun write my part ... does not gonna make a big difference rite ...

anw ... pa asked me whether i wanted a ride back home ... i din say anything ... but my reply was understood ... im great man ... i talk with my eyes alone ... am i great or am i gr8 ... hahas ... josh, de gr8 ... thats a fact anw .... wahahahahahahahaha ...

one moment in time

2006-08-18T14:04:00.000+08:00

bio lessons(not class) ended 10 mins earlier today ... den mrs azlan was sharing with us about her stress that she went thru when it was her turn for the 'O's ... and the stress that she is going thru now with her master's degree ... she also played this song ... it was kinda an inspirational song lah ... the song that you ae hearing is the one ... the lyrics are below ... hahas ...

One Moment In Time
by Whitney Houston

Each day I live
I want to be
A day to give
The best of me
I'm only one
But not alone
My finest day
Is yet unknown

I broke my heart
Fought every gain
To taste the sweet
I face the pain
I rise and fall
Yet through it all
This much remains

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

I've lived to be
The very best
I want it all
No time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be
I will be
I will be free
I will be
I will be free

trinity college

2006-08-16T22:27:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh ... VINCENT Ramos ... is in singapore ... he came to my school this morning ... lolx ... i was the first one to see him and talk to him ... excluding stef ... hehe ... i was so excited ... but did not know what to tell him ... ahhhhhhh ....

When I Say..."I am a Christian"

2006-08-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.

-Carol Wimmer

4e1'06 class photo

2006-08-16T17:41:00.000+08:00

oooh ... today so fun ... today so fun ... had our class photo taken ... hahas ...

like last year ... i was asked to sit beside mrs tan ... since im the class' vice-president ... it is kinda weird ... as im the only guy in the whole row ... hahas ...

de guy we all planning to sabo me like last year of the informal picture ... hahas ... last years pics turned out quite nice ... but the one when i was sabo-ed ... obscene!!! ... hahas ...

this time for the informal picture ... we were asked to break into smaller groups ... and the pic taken will be made in to a collage ... nice ...

so my clan(ron, ben, yh, job, jeff and ME) ... wanted to take a pic together ... hahas ... but the idea of sabo-ing me was not forgotten ... darn ... i was kenah carried by them ... lolx ... ahhh ... this year ... another obscene picture ... hehe ...

but den we all wanted to get another pic taken ... we wanted to do some funny funny stuff ... but then was afraid that it wldn't be included in the collage ... just becoz of that ... so we sticked with the 'see no evil, say no evil, hear no evil' ... and 'smell no evil' ... utter crap ... hahas ... had so much fun ...

2006-08-15T12:37:00.000+08:00

i had difficulties breathing this morning ... so i din go to school ...

darn ... i was so looking forward for the floorball tournament ... now ... i cant play ... rarh ...

gosh ... will aso be missing physics and SS ... die ... i better go back to studying ... will blog some other time ...

Heaven's Grocery Store

2006-08-14T16:41:00.000+08:00

I was walking down life's highway a long time ago.
One day I saw a sign that read, "Heaven's Grocery Store".
As I got a little closer the door came open wide,
and when I came to myself I was standing inside.
I saw a host of Angels, they were standing everywhere.
One handed me a blanket and said, "My Child shop with care".
Everything a Christian needs is in that grocery store,
and all you can't carry, come back the next day for more.

First, I got some Patience, Love was in the same row.
Further down was Understanding, needed everywhere you go.
I got a box or two of Wisdom, a bag or two of Faith,
I just couldn't miss the Holy Ghost, it was all over the place.
I stopped to get some Strength and Courage to help me run this race,
but then my blanket was getting full, and I remembered I needed Grace.

I didn't forget Salvation, which like the others was free,
so I tried to get enough of that to save both you and me.
Then I started to the counter to pay my grocery bill,
for I thought I had everything to do my master's will.
As I went up the aisle, I saw Prayer and had to put it in,
for I knew when I stepped outside, I would run right into sin.
Peace and Joy were plentiful, they were on the last shelf.
Song and Praises were hanging near, so I just helped myself.

Then I said to the Angel, "How much do I owe"?
The Angel smiled and said, "Just take them everywhere you go."
Again, I politely asked "How much do I really owe?"
The Angel smiled again and said, "My Child, Jesus Paid Your Bill A Long Time Ago."

-Ron DeMarco

the meaning of life

2006-08-13T17:08:00.000+08:00

Life is a Gift ...

... Accept it.

Life is an Adventure ...

... Dare it.

Life is a Mystery ...

... Unfold it.

Life is a Game ...

... Play it.

Life is a Struggle ...

... Face it.

Life is Beauty ...

... Praise it.

Life is a Puzzle ...

... Solve it.

Life is an Opportunity ...

... Take it.

Life is Sorrowful ...

... Experience it.

Life is a Song ...

... Sing it.

Life is a Goal ...

... Achieve it.

Life is a Mission ...

... FULFILL IT!

service and fellowship

2006-08-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

gosh ... wat has gotten in to me ... i was so bored during service today ... after so long ... i started drawing on my note book ... the last time i did that was a few months back ... my bulletin seemed like reg's ... it had lots of nonsense all over it ... hahas ...

i was pissed off with the whole of the ex-UC ... since last night ... din wanna got for dinner with them ... den found out that ... nao aso not going ... great ... nao and i wanted to head for home ... den pau tot that we going for dinner ... so ... she asked nao where we going ... nao was like ... arent we going home ... lol ...

den fre and pau dey all wanted to join us ... as in the ex-UC ... but nao and i wanna escape ... darn ... now we are trapped ... rarh ...

me and my big mouth ... fre ... i din expect you to get pa along as well ... i mean ... i din want pa to feel that we anti him ... but ...... onvm ...

i wanted to run away ... so did nao ... but we both wanted the other party to stay so that we can leave smoothly ... lol ... hahas ...

den when pa asked who going for dinner ... nao was like ... 'ok ... we are '...

now, now , nao ... lol ... you sldn't have ... lol ...

den syl dey all wanted to get a ride from pa ... yeah ... a perfect plan for nao and i to escape ... wahahahahaha ... we told them that there wldnt be enough space in the car ... so nao and i will walk ... hahahaha ....

but in the end ... nao and i din wanna be that rude so we went for dinner ...

nao ... you owe me big time ... hahas ... this time we din talk much .... the aura was right ... yeah ... there were several reasons ... but the main one was the MT O-lvl results ...

din have much fun this time ... as i was being continously bothered by something ... gosh ... why am i so petty at times ... esp went it comes to church peeps ... rarh ...

go nyp again ... wahahaha

2006-08-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

today went to nyp with reg to meet ferd ... oooh ... went to the library ... very big very nice ... a conducive place to study in ...

before we enter ... ferd was like ... die ... the librarian looking ... we only had one key ... that's ferd's ... how to use for 3 peeps to enter in front of the librarian ...

we waited for about one min ... hopin that she would turn away ... she din ... rarh ... aiya ... forget it lah ... juz go ... hahas ... i was like ... she sldnt approach me ... she sldnt approach me ... hahas ...

gosh ... after so many months ... i actually studied ... hahas ... wats the point too late already ... prelims in 2 weeks ... cannot study all the contents ... no time ... dammit ...

ferd and i bully reg ... hahas ...

ferd helped me with my a maths ... thnx ferd ...

dammit ... im no more in the sec 4 maths tution at church ... sharks ... it coincides with my ~~stupid and boring~~ tution ministry ... rarh ... nvm ... i got ferd ... lol ... hahas ...

den they were gonna close the library for lunch time ... we dilly dally ... den the librarian came after us ... so pai seh ... hahas ...

went to food juction to eat ... the mee goreng very spicy ... lol ...

after lunch went to the study room ... vow ... a lot of ppeps in there ... play-play ... and aso study -study ... hahas and reg aso firlt-firlt ... hahas ...

see lah ... firlt-filrt ... take so long ... i late for ministry already ... so we rush ... hahas ... i cant believe this ... i actually made reg run for my sake ... lol ... hahas

was 20 mins late for the boring tution ministry ... den when we enter church ... i heard pa's pastor's voice ... o sharks ... wanted to sneak in ... not only too late ... but too too late ... hahas ... dun care lah ... juz go ...

golly ... y did i rush to take the bus ... i rather dilly dally ... or not even turn up lor ... dey were all playing cards ... and were like ... 'why u you come so early' ... to me ... hahas ...

gosh ... i cant wait to get out of this stupid thing ...

READERS DISCREETION, esp HLC peeps ...

2006-08-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

Christian are no different from unbelievers ... as in ... their fate ... that what im refering to ...

Christians PRAY for things to happen ...

Unbelievers HOPE for things to happen ...

and when things happen ...

Christians THANK God ...

as for Unbelievers ... some say luck ... some say hard work has paid off ...

on the other hand ...

when thing doesnt happen as expected ...

Unbelievers say bad luck ... or that what the deserve ...

Christians ... they CONSOLE themselves that their plans are not God plans ... and HE has better plans ... need not necessary ... c'mon ... wat is better than getting an A1 ... a B3 like wat i got or to put it as wat God has given me ... despite all those prayers ...

Christians are no different from the rest of the world ... just that Christians react strangely ...

then wat is the bloody point of praying ... when u are aware that at the end of the day you have no say in your fate ... why the extra trouble ... ie. praying ...

in HLC ... the peeps make it seem as though what ever nots you pray for will happen ... (with regards to the "see it, have it" ~~nonsense~~ thingy) ... things does not happen the way we want ...

den why pray ... makes no sense .... urgh ... this is so irritating ...

prayer is the key ... not at all ....

2006-08-11T21:57:00.000+08:00

The last time ... for my tl oral ... I was the last one in my batch ... I had lots of time to calm myself down ... but this time ... im de first in my batch liao ... dammit ... I was so nervous ... and my mother tongue results made every thing worst ... so sickening ... but I think I did well ...

im not gonna pray ... it wont work for me ... it never had ... this sucks ...

i prayed for abt 2hr and 30 mins this whole week ... inclusive of the prayer for my mt o level result ... din bother to write on the prayer drive chart ... din see a ~~bloody~~ point ....

mother tongue results out ...

2006-08-11T16:20:00.000+08:00

~~fcuk u~~ ... i got a distinction for my oral ... but overall ... a B3 ... ~~bloody h-e-l-l~~ ... den wat point of the ~~fcukin~~ distinction ... it is not gonna bring me any where ... wat happen to all those prayers rarh ... they din work ... man ... i simply wasted my time ... i could have spent that on studying and practising for tamil instead ... at least i would have improved my grade ... ~~wat de hell~~ ...

im so fcuked up ...

many of the other indian student got an A2 and A1 ... one guy got only a merit for oral ... but an A2 for the overall ... sheesh ... wats wrong with me ... feel so dumb ...

for the mid years ... i got an A2 ... i so expected an A1 for the Os ... this is so irritating ...

dammit ... i have to sit for my eng oral on this very day ... why is God so unfair to me ... first ... he din not answer my prayer the way i wanted ...

second ... HE demoralised me with the stupid class mates of mind who made me seem so stupid ...

third ... HE made me sit for my oral with such a burden ... i thought every father would want to provide his child with the best ... wat kind of Fatherly love have i received from the Heavenly Father ... gosh ....

this sucks

juz for laugh ...

2006-08-10T19:47:00.000+08:00

"5 minutes to go God!"

Now a football player was outside the door and heard the teacher counting. When he heard what the teacher was doing, Challenging GoD

One day, an atheist professor who constantly tries to disprove God stood up on a podium in front of his class and said, "Today class I will disprove God! If God really exists then he will knock me off this podium within 15 minutes!" The professor then took his watch and started to keep time.

"10 minutes to go God!"

he was furious and waited.

"1 minute left! Well class as you can see there is no possible way that i will come off this podium no so your God is..."

At that moment the football player came charging in and tackled the professor off the podium and onto the floor. Stunned the professor stammered, "wh-where did you come from?!"

The football player smirked and replied, "God was busy so he sent me."

***

Who makes the coffee?

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".

The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .

"HEBREWS"

***

2006-08-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE ...

when a man tells a woman

2006-08-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."

Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."

Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the head might be necessary."

Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."

Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."

Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"

Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."

Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."

Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."

Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."

Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."

Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"

Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"
True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."

footprints

2006-08-08T20:10:00.000+08:00

One night I had a dream.

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with God.

and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the

sand, one belonged to me, the other to God.

When the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that many times along the path of life,

there was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very

lowest and saddest times in my life.

This really bothered me and I questioned God about it.

"God, you said that once I decided to follow you, you

would walk with me all the way, but I noticed that

during the most troublesome time in my life there

is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why in the

times when I needed you most, you would leave me."

God replied. "My precious precious child, I love you

and I would never never leave you during your

times of trials and suffering.

When you see only one set of footprints

it was then that I carried you."

wad de hell is that pic all abt

2006-08-08T16:51:00.000+08:00

@@@

@@@@@

@@@@@@@

@@@@

that picture up there is an eye

...

E-Y-E

...

EYE

...

german peeps are fun peeps

2006-08-08T16:46:00.000+08:00

today my school had its very own BNDP ... hahas ...

drama ... power man ... we were great ... the recollections .... power sial ... we brought the house down ... hahas ...

ooh the german peeps were all at the foyer ... sx shee rab and i are suppose to welcome them and usher them around ... but mrs tan din tell us anything ... somemore we were busy with drama ...

anw ... we all rushed to get a german buddy each ... we were their official befrienders for the day ... hahas ... ~~my guy~~ i mean my buudy name was fred or something ... din really catch it ... hehe ... he was kinda cold at the beginning ... but i made him to talk ... hahas ... im good ...

most of the were 16 and they were all so tall ... fred was at least 10 cm taller than me ... hahas ... poor me ... poor sheereeen ... hahas ... jkjk ...

the german sch ... was not only a german sch or a european sch ... but it is an international sch ... cool ... there were students from japan, philippines and even singapore ... hahas ...

den after the parade at the parade square ... is the reason why it is called so ... we made our way up to hall for the other programmes ... one of which was the recognition of student for their outstanding performance and service in their CCAs ...

ooh ... im one of them ... hahas ... i got through drama ... yeah ... bowen drama rox ... AMEN ... lol ...

den as the choir was singing the national day songs ... drama the sec 4 drama mamas also sang along with them ... lol ... den for the 'stand up 4 spore' song ... we literally stand up ... hahas ...

not only us ... some oder sec 4s aso ... vino, saiful, gerald dey all ... haha ... we were all really high ... hahas ... so fun ... so fun ...

i got to know this german gal ... sophia ... oh yar ... she is a germese ... german + chinese = germese ... hahas ... she was funny and all ... oooh ... she is also in the drama ... drama mamas of the world unite ... hahas ...

was so fcuked up with chang sheng and perlyn ... keep your hands to yourselves will yall ... rarh ...

taboo fever ...

2006-08-07T21:37:00.000+08:00

my eng 'O'-level oral is this friday ... (jia you!!!) ... but we are all sick of practicing for it ... BORING ... and mrs tan clearly realised that ... what an understanding teacher ... no wonder she's a counselor ... haha ...

so for the 3 periods of eng today ... 2 periods were for oral practice ... and the oder one period was for a game ... yeah ... this kinda thing rarely happens ... but when it does so ... it is really fun ... yeaps ...

this time we played taboo ... i love that game ... it has been very long since i last played it ... ooh ... it was fun ... ~~my group sucked~~ ... i sld have went up instead to do the guessing ... at least we would not have been that bad ... rarh ... oh wateva ...

den we were suppose to have a physics make up lesson ... den when yx went forward to announce to the class ... i was like ... "dun with yx ... dun with yx" ... hehe ... jkjk ...

den ron was like boh tah and stuff like that ... den dbcta was like laughing and all ... felt a little bad for him ...

it turned out that mr chan was busy with the BNDP ... so he couldnt make it ... yeah ... hallelujah ... =x ... hehe

so went for drama early ... we stepped down already though ... but came forward to help out the junior with their BNDP item ... not all came though ... only six ... hahas ...

rab and ath joined sx shee and me since we were early ... the taboo fever has not left us yet ... we were playing taboo ... den twister ... den the traditional bowen drama pull the string of roller chair with peeps on board ... started by our batch ... haha ...

was having so much of fun ... yeah ... i so gonna miss those drama sessions ... not forgetting ... ill miss andy and harris a lot ... esp harris ... he was the one who identified me for my vocal talent ... hehe ... ill miss NAFA ....

i love my sistas in christ(II)

2006-08-06T18:31:00.000+08:00

this is jev's online gift for me ...

it is an ORION NEBULA ...

jev said,

"this is for u!

this is a the Orion Nebula,

where new stars are born,

n from there begin to shine.

may u grow to shine as bright as the stars!"

awww... that's so nice ... thnx jev ...

i love my sistas in christ ...

2006-08-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

thnx for the gifts and all ... and also for the online birthday song at 12:00:00 ... that was so nice ... thnx a lot gals(nao,syl and reg) ... very messy though ... hahas ... but it was seriously very nice ... love yall muackz ... jev MIA ... hahas ...

now ... another countdown

2006-08-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

OOOhh ... my birthday is finally here ...

my last birthday in bowen ...

first birthday in harvest life church ...

im all so excited ...

new blogskin

2006-08-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

ooh ... chged my blog skin today ... is this nicer ... or the previous one is better? ... pls comment in my tagboard ... there is no scene there ... thnx ...

in between the pic is actually an eye ... seriously ... it is an eye ... the instant i saw the pic ... i knew it was an eye ... that was one of the reason why i chose it as my skin ...

but some of my friend were like that's so not an eye ... well it is ... hahas ...

only peeps with keen eye sight ... and very high intellect ... can see it ... for example ... Josh-ua lee ... now i can understand how come yall cant see ... wahahahahaha .... jkjk ...

gosh ... i was competing with time ... i had to rush off to church ... i got my tuition ministry to attend to ... but i wanted to finsh editing my blog ...

then glen was my countdown timer cum alarm clock ... rarh ... i got so irritated ... i go block him ... wahahahhaha ....

gosh ... i left one our later than my expected time im suppose to leave ... DIE ... im late ... as usual ... took the taxi ...

i dun understand why ... im always veri puctual ... in school ... ill never be late ... or rather if i were late ... which rarely happens ... i would not bother to turn up ... as i would not want to waste time sitting down doing nothing amongst a bunch of uncivilised idiots in the detention class room ... hahas ...

but whenever it comes to church ... im late ... almost all the time ... thats bad ... thats very bad ...

gals can get very idiotic at times

2006-08-04T17:48:00.000+08:00

feline ... why do you always have to believe wateva the mosquito gal tell you ... wat happened to the time when you said that ... kartik, you are the only guy who i trust ... was that all fake ... you only listened to her ... and jump to conclusions without asking me anything ...

y u anti-ing me ... wat did i do ... seriously i dun get it ... how would if that mosquito gal always bitch about me in chinese ...

havent you realise ... you have lost ur clique ... partly becoz of her ... and that mosquito gal is really pissing me off ...

and this new group of peeps you hanging out with ... they are really chging u a lot ... for the worst i mean ... you werent like this a few months back ...

for once repunzel was so much nicer to me ... but you ... urgh ...

juz now saw you at the bus stop ... wanted to set thing right ... but he was there ... urgh ... his presence made everything worst ... im more angry with you ...

ok fine this is pure prejudice ... ill take that away ... but im still fcuked up with you for ur stupidity ... c'mon ... talk to me ... set things right ... stop following that mosquito gal ...

mosquito gal ... the last time when i played a game of truth or dare with this clique in class ... they all admitted that ... they hate you .... yes you mosquito gal ... and i defended you ... and said the nice side of you ... and i faked most of what i said ...

guess wat i sincerely regret my actions ... gosh ... y was i so nice to you ... but you so ______ ... you scuk ...

feline ... forget it ... it is ur decision to believe who you wanna believe ... but im just unhappy with the fact that u din ask me anything but jumped to ~~your~~ or rather mosquito gal's conclusion ...

PS: the mosquito gal mentioned here does not refer to any yee wen or yiwen in school ... lol ...

b-dae celeb with CG

2006-08-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

after sch rushed back home ... had to complete my bio assignment on heredity ... and rush off back to church ... usually ... i dun do this ... ill go to church right after school ... and do my homework and all there ... but this time ... i decided to go home ...

actually considered not going for cell grp ... den nao was like ... we celebrating ur birthday ... you should come ...

but it actually the more that i din wanna come ... i've my own reason ... but it turned out that wat i feared did not happen ... yeaps ...

in de middle of my bio hw ... received a sms from syl ... can follow me to go buy cake ... i was like wad de ... helo ... im one of the 3 birthday boys lor ... hahas ...

usually it suppose to be jev and i organising each b-dae celeb ... but since this time my b-dae is also being celebrated ... jev was kind enough to say ... u take a back sit bro ... ill handle it myself ... hahas ...

i did offer my my request for a helping hand ... it was accepted in directly though ...

gosh ... syl and i ruined the cake ... syl ... we shall keep quite abt that ... guess only pa and jev know about it ... hahas ... shhhh ...

i was ic for the game this time ... decided to play wacko ... as suggested by fre the previous time ... i added a little twist to the game ... that is ... the name of one would be the one's on his right ... do i make myself clear ...

i seriously dun like to play wacko ... but guess wat ... it turned out to be so fun ... yeah ... syl and omi were laughing and laughing ... pa said that they were drunkards ... hahas ...

syl had to do the forfeit ... saved it later for after the Word ...

oooh ... the birthday babies are ...
jordan ... 18
benjamin ... 17
and ME ... 16 ...

benjamin and i share the same birthday ... not forgetting kwok fong ... aka waffles ... my replica ... hahas ... i miss me lots ...

there were candles ... one for each ... we made our wishes ... wanna know my b-dae wish? ... i only told my pa so far ... hahas ... wanna know den ask me personally ...

i was the first to open my eyes ... pa ask me to extinguish one of the 3 candles ... but im humble ... very "humble" ... muz start from the oldest ... hahas ... so ill be left with one candle ... easy to blow ... hahas ...

i love the presents ... thnx yo2 ... love yall ... each and everyone one of yall ...

talk of the class

2006-08-03T15:51:00.000+08:00

todays talk of the class was ... (drum rolls,pls) ... Kartik had a hair cut ... lol ... hahas ... it always happens ...

whenever i've an hair cut ... this happens ... the whole class in talking about it ...

last time ... before i stepped down from drama ... that was worst ... the whole batch will know that i had an hair cut ... hahas ...

maybe becoz ... whenever i have an haircut ... ill comb it flat ... hahas ... cute mah ...

ok maybe not ... hahas ... even mrs ng was like ... you call that cute? ... hahas ...

yar ... it is not only the students ... the teachers too ... hahas ... im popular ... (wadeva, josh) ...

21 things that one should do and continue to do

2006-08-02T16:33:00.000+08:00

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

just for laugh

2006-08-02T16:23:00.000+08:00

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heartattack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

guardian angel

2006-08-01T22:19:00.000+08:00

it has been very long since my guardian angel last tagged me ... kinda miss it though ... hahas ... enjoy this story ...

The Girl In The Pink Dress

There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad. Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by. She never tried to speak. She never said a word. Many people passed by her, but no one would stop.

The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes.

Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone. As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress was grotesquely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her.

As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare. As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly. She was grotesquely shaped in a humped-over form.

I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk. I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, "Hello." The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi," after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled and she shyly smiled back.

We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty. I asked the girl why she was so sad. The little girl looked at me with a sad face said, "Because I'm different." I immediately said, "That you are!" and smiled. The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know."

"Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent." She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really?"

"Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all those people walking by." She nodded her head yes, and smiled. With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said "I am. I'm your Guardian Angel," with a twinkle in her eye. I was speechless -- sure I was seeing things.

She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done."

I got to my feet and said, "Wait, why did no one stop to help an angel?" She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You are the only one that could see me," and then she was gone. And with that, my life was changed dramatically. So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you.

-author unknown

what is "hello" in jap?

2006-08-01T19:13:00.000+08:00

a huge group from the japanese international school joined us today ... they also put up a performance after the mock election segment was over ...

before that ... the director of the school gave a speech ... we thought he was speaking in japanese all the while ... until we clear heard that he said ... "you dun have to fear us" ... or something like that ... hahas ... he was speaking in english ... but with a strong japanese accent ...

then they performed a folk dance ... some of their moves were so unexpected ... a sense of suspense ... i like ... it was so much more entertaining than the mock election segment as a whole ... serious ...

after the whole thing ... their director and our school principal had a gift exchage ... they put this coat kind of thing over mr tan ... and gave something else ... guess what ... mr tan dropped the gift on the stage itself ... or hor ... lolx ... playback time for what happened 40 years ago? ... hahas ... am i stirring up a war or something ... hahas ...

mock elections is back

2006-08-01T18:53:00.000+08:00

today was the finale of the mock elections that has been going on for the past few months ... the sec 1 classes put up an item each during assembly ...

started off with 1e1 ... gosh ... that was ~~total crap~~ ... they brought down the name of the EONEs ... hahas ...

after them was the 1e2 ... they were great ... ok ... at least better than 1e1 ... hahas ... i voted for 1e1 as the junior class of the year ... for the past two years ... but this time ... im not really sure ... i guess it would be 1e2 ... perhaps ... perhaps not ... i was bribed by 1e4 with sweet ... lots of them ... hahas ...

i still have yet to make my mind ... hahas ...

but this year ... it wasnt really exciting up on stage ... ooh ... ooh ... i spotted most of my drama juniors ... hahas ...

i still can remeber the mock elections'03 ... hahas ... that time each class had to send a representative to make a speech even ... if im not wrong ... it was cai ling ... hahas ... i still can rmb how she looked like when she was in sec 1 ... hahas ... will safe the details ...

i also can rmb the class cheer ... it was led by dilys gwen and myself ... since that was the SARS period ... and bowen got so popular becoz of that ... our cheer was based on tat ... rmb the advertisement with gurmit singh as PCK ...

this was our version ...

1A is the virus
that u dun wanna minus
a lot of surprises if you
VOTE FOR US
VOTE FOR US
VOTE FOR US
....

hahas ... i miss those days ... in 1A and 2e1 ... 4e1 ~~sux~~ ...

physics test ...

2006-07-31T19:41:00.000+08:00

golly ... physic test has been brought ... from dun know when to this thursday ... actually wouldnt make much different for me ... as i always to last mintues revision ... that is bad ... but works for me though ... hahas ...

when yx broke the news to the class ... this was what i immediately said: "down with yuxin ... down with khai mun" ... hahas ...

in btw ... khai mun is yx's idol ... serious ... ok ... i guess yall dun believe me right ... ok ... put both of them together in ur mind ... now ... spot the differences ... cant find any prominent ones right ... told you so ... hahas ... jkjk ...

guess what ... i dun even no what chapters are being tested ... lol ...

mixed feelings

2006-07-31T19:06:00.000+08:00

today is the first day of the common tests ... and for the O-level candidates it would also be the last day ... yeah ...

since we would be sitting for our prelims in 4 weeks ... the common tests were not a necessary for the 4 exp and 5 N(A) ... however since the cohort did badly for english and add maths as a whole ... we have to sit for it again ...

tomorrow the rest of the school will be sitting for more tests ... and we dun have to ... hahas ... but who gets the last laugh ... prelims in 4 weeks ... =x ...

this time common tests are in the afternoon ... darn ... monday was the only day that the EONEs can leave school at 1 30 ... and it ruined by these common test ... rarh ...

gosh ... i din know how to do two question in the add maths paper ... but i figured it out on my way back home ... whats the point ... too late liao ... boo hoo ...

one of them was something like this ...

differentiate (sin x cos x) so that it is equal 1 - 2sin^2 x

my ans :
(d/dx)sin x cos x
= (sin x)(-sin x) + (cos x)(cos x)
= -sin^2 x + cos^2 x

... i stopped here ... i was stuck ... how to continue ... i did figure it out though ... and that is that ...

-sin^2 x + cos^2 x
= -sin^2 x + cos^2 x + sin^2 x - sin^2 x
= 1 - 2sin^2 x

the other question was the last one ... on kinematics ... find the time when the 2 particles collide ... i should have simply combined the equation for both and evaluate ... what was i doing ... stupid me ... rarh ...

freindship connection

2006-07-30T13:04:00.000+08:00

today was a bad day for me ... for more information ... ask reg ... coz it was all her fault ... lol ... ok ok ... partly her fault ...

went to nyp with reg to see ferdinand ... he remembers me ... thats wat she says ... hahas ...

so awkward ... i spoke to him thru reg ... he did the same ... aiya .. shy shy lah ... not only me lor ... he aso ... hahas ... most prob will be going to see him again next week ... and also get him to come for service ...

den i left them with each other ... wah so lomantica ... and went to church ... as i've got ministry ... duty calls ...

as i was walking towards church ... met jia hao ... hahas ... den we tok tok ... tok crap ... hahas ... dun know wat to tok mah ... got generation gap ... lolx ...

this time ... i was the late one ... actually ... i wasnt late ... juz that the others were early ... hahas ... there was also a new gal joining us today ... gosh ... i cant get their names right ...

i really bonded with those kids this time ... really had a lot of fun ... but am afraid that this would eat into the time when we have to do the real work ... that wld be teaching for me and learning for them ... guyz pray that those kids and i will be more task focused next time round ... thnx ...

next week ... fre will be sitting in ... hope thing works out better that way ...

after tuition was service ... and after that ... it was friendship connection ... ooh ... food games and fun ... we had pizzas and chicken wings ... as usual i avoided the chicken ... and pau was after me with those chicken ... ok that was an exagerrations ...

the pizzas were fron oishi pizzas ... pa made it sound so great ... it wasnt as great as expected ... i had only to slices ... ben took 4 slices and a few wings ... since he is new ... he doesnt have to pay ... he sure knows how to take advantage of situations ... hahas ...

the games were great ... my team won ... woo hoo ... team one rawkz ... hahas ...

i just cant understand why that some people can be so rude and sacarstic but laugh their way through it to minimize the impact of their words ... unfortunately ... the effect was amplified instead ... some people just dont change ...

2006-07-30T11:52:00.000+08:00

i love my Pa ... he is the man ...

bio test ... die

2006-07-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

we were suppose to sit for a bio test today ... we were informed about it at least a week ago ... but i did not study for it ... or rather i was not able to study for it as i lost my bio textbook a week ago too ... die ...

tit passed me his tb yesterday ... b4 prayer meeting ... thanks a lot bro ...

but that was elective bio tb ... gosh ... and there were a lot of missing info ... die ... die ...

but i still studied for it using tit's tb ... but i couldnt finish ... had not enough time to finish 2 chapters ... as i went for the prayer meeting last night ... die ... die ... die ...

thank God ... mrs azlan was not in school ... so ... no test ... hallelujah ... God did help me ... for i put prayer meeting before bio revision ...

maths olmpiad-the results ...

2006-07-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

a group of abt 20 sat for the maths olmpiad competiton on the very day after our o level mother tongue paper ...

before we sat for it ... mdm padma told us that to attain
a gold medal ... 12 questions out of about 40 over questions are to be answered correctly ...
silver ... 10 Qns ...
bronze ... 5 Qns ...

so most of us barely completed half the paper ... hahas ... i think i only did abt one-third the paper hahas ... and i expected to get a bronze medal ... that is at least answer 5 questions correctly ...

but wat mdm padma told us was only for last year ... this year was different ...

in order to get a bronze medal ... 11 Qns are to be answered correctly ...

bowen received 2 bronze and 4 honours ...

wk topped the bowen cohort ... he had 12 questions answered correctly ...

after him was wx with a score of 11 ... ~~eeew~~ ... why does it always have to be him ... stealing the limelight from the EONEs ...

they both got the bronze ...

kl got 10 ... ~~show-off~~ ... x=

i got 9 correct answers ... so kl, i and two others got the honours ...

my prayer was answered ... after i had sat for the paper ... i wanted to get a bronze ... which means that 5 correct qns ...

but when the results were out and mdm padma said that there were only two bronze ... i lost hope ...

but my prayer was answered ... i got 5 or rather 9 qns correct ... if the last year's data was used ... i would have received a bronze ... but ... i would have felt really bad that i missed a silver by one mark ...

thank GoD ...

anw ... i think that honours sounds way better than a mere bronze ... or even gold ... hahas ...

i hope this would counter the dissapointment that i gave mdm padma when i scored a 2 out of 25 for my integration test ...

prayer meeting

2006-07-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

I was looking forward for the prayer meeting for the whole week ... serious ... but only up till Wednesday ... yar ...

changed my mind ... found out that not many are gonna turn up ... like the last time ...

the other time ... I was the only UC ex-UC who turned up lor …]... they all PS me ... hahas ...

However ... this is not the main reason ... it was that my lessons end at 3 30 ... and this mid week service starts at 7 30 ... I’ve got 4 whole hours to ~~waste~~ spend ... I did not want to go back home ... coz if I did ... I would be stuck to the screen of my PC ... so ... wouldn’t be able to make it on time for service ...

actually ... come to think about it ... if I go home ... I wldn’t even bother to come ... hehe ...

mt encouraged me to go though ... so I asked kl out to study ... suppose to meet her at 4 30 ... so went to J8 with zy ...

ron had a very gd question to ask me ... wat do zy and I do together at J8 ... hmmm ... hey no wild imaginations sae ... hahas ... ron ... ill leave that to zy to answer ...

Den pa said that he will be opening church at 5 30 ... we passed by church at 5 to get to some study area on thr other side ... den when we were exactly outside church ... pa called me ... so I thought he was in church already ... so did kl ... as I was in the phone ... kl went to check out whether church was open ...

it was ... but when I told him so ... he was surprised ... so it wasnt him who opened ... someone else ... but who ... there was no one at the main hall ... but there was this red shirt hanging on one of those chairs ...
suspect #1 ... kg ...
suspect #2 ... pm ...
correct answer: kg ... we guessed correctly ... hahas ...

Den when pa came ... he said there were some stuff that he wanted to talk to me about ... ok ... I wasn’t prepared ... usually when there would be such accountability sessions ... he would tell me before hand ... but this time ... he din ...

I was told not to talk about whatever we talked about until he brings up the matter himself ... so I’ll remain silent till then ... but I sure was not happy with whatever discussed and the final statements made ...

Though Im not to say anything ... I’ll say one thing ... ~~I would rather quit ... than be sacked~~ ...

after that ... I did not want to stay for prayer meeting anymore ... I wanted to leave that instant ... so I left ~~pa's~~ pastor’s office and went to main hall ... kl was not there ... was told that she was at the study ... getting all so comfy in there ... hello ... I wanna go already liao ...

Oh yar ... in btw kl decided not to stay for mid week service ... days before the whole of today ... so we decided to wait for mt ... then later ... think about what we were gonna do ...

mt was suppose to be there at 6 30 ... but she only came at seven ... rarh ... that’s bad ... it means that there would be more peeps seeing kl and me escape ... and that sure was not a very nice thing ...

Mt din want me to go ... so I was explaining to her the reason for my decision ... then suddenly pa pastor came in ... "5 mins for service ... get ready" ... den kl was like ... "im so not staying" and I was like ... "im so with you"... we left for the main hall to get our bags to escape ...

then what I saw made me really feel very bad ... and that was that ... there were not any at the congregation area ... (only mt and kg who were on duty) ... no one else intended to come (it seemed so at that point of time) ... but I did ... and was glad that I did so ... unfortunately ... I changed my mind the very day ... 2 hrs before service ...

But I really felt very bad for chu fre and clem ... so I decided to stay ... but at the same time ... I was angry with pa ... so I decided to give him a cold shoulder ... when he asked me to move to the first row ... I ignored him and remained in the second ... I felt bad though ... but dun think that im gonna apologies ... never ...

After the whole thing ... I left church immediately ... was not in the state of mood to talk to anyone ... ...

...

2006-07-27T22:50:00.000+08:00

he said that im sensitive ... not just sensitive ... but Over-sensitive ... erm like duh ... more like DUH ... not even that ... it is so like DUH-AH ...

it is got to do with me ... it is got with my probs ... wats wrong with me being sensitive with my prob ...

like wadeva ...

irresponsibility + defiance = 4EONE ... ?

2006-07-24T20:16:00.000+08:00

this morning after assembly ... as my class was waiting to be dismissed (my class is right in the middle of the hall ... so we are always one of the last few to leave) ... mrs tan tapped my shoulder ... and said that she wants to see me ... her tone was serious then the usual when she asks me for the attendance for the day ...

she also called jeslin ... hmmm ... the chairman and vice chairman are wanted by the form teacher ... i was like ... ok what did i do ... then yx remind me about what happen last friday ... i was like ... i was like ... oh yar ... ~~dammit~~ im dead ...

mrs tan did wanted to see us regarding what happened then ...

so wat happened last friday? ... actually it dates back to thursday ... madam padma was not in school ... so the lesson was taken by mrs ng ... however ... on behalf of her ... mr goh and mr ng came to our class with a maths practice paper (PI) ...

since our lesson suppose to end in 1.5 hr ... and an ordinary paper is meant to be set for 2hr ... mr goh asked to complete 3/4 of the paper ... so all of us did up till there, handed them in and left ... however ... mrs ng wanted us to complete the whole by that day itself ...

so on fri ... she passed the paper back to the maths rep ... and instructed that they are to be completed and handed in by friday itself ... however ... none of us wanted to stay back to complete the paper ... one reason becoz it was so last mintue ... another wld be that that was the only day when we get to get out of school that early ... 12:30 that is ...

actually there was suppose to be an oral practice after school that day ... but due to some meeting or something mrs tan was not able to sit in for the class ... so she told us that it was cancelled on that morning itself ... this was what angered her ...

and as for mrs ng ... no one told her that we have decided as a class ... not to do the paper ... this angered her ... i received 5 smses and people telling me that mrs ng is very angry and wants the paper in by friday itself ...

gd for me ... i was still in school when i got the mes ... was in a short meeting with the sec 4 drama mamas regarding our end of yr performance at NAFA ...

after that ... i joined rb and yh to complete the paper ... after we were done with that we made our way to the staff room ... we left the paper in her pigeon hole ... as we were walkin down the stair ... we saw her ... oh goodness ... i was hoping that she doesnt see us ... coz i've never seen her angry before ... and dun want to be the sacrificial lamb ... she saw us but guess wat she wasnt that angry this time ... hehe ... in fact ... sge was laughing along with us in our conversation ... hahas ...

amaths test ...

2006-07-24T19:53:00.000+08:00

today got back my amaths test paper that i sat for 2 weeks ago or something ... it was on integration ... a topic that i dun understand ... but jia bro says that is one of the easiest topics ... erm ok ...

last tues after PE ... as yx and i were heading towards the canteen ... mdm padma stopped me and asked how did i do for the test ... well ... it was obvious that she had already marked my paper ... and was aware that i totally flung the paper ...

she was totally angry with me ... i guess that is explainable ... coz it was a open book test that i failed ... we were given 24 qns the week before ... and were told that 5 to 6 questions would be chosen and given as a test ...

but i couldnt be bothered to try all the 24 questions ... i did the first 3 or 4 stopped with that ... none of them came out in the test ... ~~dammit~~ ...

so guess how much i got ... 2 out of 25 ... gosh ... the worst mark i have ever received for amaths ... in fact ... i've never failed amaths before ... so dissapointing ... ok ... not really ... i expected it though ... as in ... i expected a failing grade ... but not this low ...

the worst thing is that ... i've to get it signed ... oh man ... im SOOOOO DEAD ...

ok that was what i thought ... i told my sis and mum everything ... thank God for having a very understanding family ... hehe ... they were disappointed at first though ... but i've assured them that this would never happen again ...

now i have a friend of mine helping me out with my a maths ... that's sheena ... gal ... thnx a lot ...

i feel very bad for mdm padma though ... :(

ministry will be one of my most important priority-no doubts abt tat

2006-07-23T18:53:00.000+08:00

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
[ Joshua 24:15 ]

May this words of Joshua motivate this Josh-ua each time when i get discouraged with regards to ministry ... both usher and tution ... i will love my ministries ... love my fellow mates ... and most importantly love Jesus ... for Jesus loves me ...

gosh ... wat happened here ...

2006-07-23T18:13:00.000+08:00

suddenly my blog become so negative ... full of complaints and complaints ...

gosh ... i need to stop whining... and start and continue the renewal of the mind ...

Pa has told me before that i've to renew ... not once a week ... not once a day ... but everytime when im down and feel discouraged ...

apologies to church peeps ... and especially jevelle, freda and Pa ...

im sorry guyz ... i did not blog to insult yall or make yall feel bad ... coz this blog is suppose to be my stress reliever ...

next time ill try to be like jor ... and sheena ... thnx for ur advise ...

in reply to yeeling's entry in her blog

2006-07-23T14:13:00.000+08:00

i noe tat u did shout for me to pray ... but usually we pray after doing eveything mah ... y de sudden chg ... and i defintely did not say "yeah rite" ... u were aware that i was talking to nao rite ... and some more went to isolate myself even ... so a sense of privacy mah ...

the oni time i rmb u calling me was when i was in the study with omi talking personal stuff ... and when i came out you din tell me that we gonna pray directly ... you talked to me through peri ... if i had ignored ... i wld have even joined u to pray ... and would walked away rite after i had prayed ...

i din feel a sense of equality in our ministry though ... ok de superiority thing was an exaggeration ... that was y they were in " ... " what makes you say that we like everything you do ... im not being offensive here hor ... dun take me wrong ...

what so obvious that dey will put more chairs ... by rite ... the dey you said refers to us rite ... and wad u mean it is obvious ... all the chair were already arranged ... nth obvious abt it mah ... even at the start of the service ... the 2 seat were two seats by themselves ... no u did puta 3rd chair ... did u ...

wat makes you think that more peeps come means you can quit ... you think Pa will allow you arhx ... anw ... u said u wanted her to be under you ... that means you are still staying mah ...

i have never said i know u mah ... i have never said that to anyone lor ... lol ... only God know everyone true colours and actual motives for every action ...

and i've to seriously disagree on the part when u said that im after naomi all the while ... erm dun tell me you dun do that at all ... whenever you are not on duty you always stick with sylvia before service ... so that you have someone to sit with ... when you have duty you are with nao ... in fact you are with nao longer than me ... and i dun complain abt that ... den y do u 've to complain abt me talking to her ... r

eg and syl ... i see them twice a week at least ... i see her only once a week ... of course there is lots to talk mah ... and y is it that you always pick on me and nao ... wat is wrong with having a close friend of the opposite gender ... is that sinning or wat ...

it does not mean tat ill be happier if i work with her rite ... where on earth did you come up with such deduction ... how can you put emmotions into commitment ... they are two seperate things ... you are spiritually more mature than me ... i can see that myself ... how can u have thought like this ...

i have never imagined you dead ... but i have imagined myself dead ... lol ...

i do reflect on my actions every single night ... and that was y i asked for apology last night ... i may not be in good terms with pa ... that does not mean ill forget his words ... no matter how much i hate a person i will try my very best to forgive ... or at least go abt doing stuff that make both sides better ... for example ... when i moved seats ... i was being too bothered with stuff ... so i moved ... a win- win situation ... ok ... at least not a lose- lose situation ...

whatever i write is wat i feel ... wats wrong with that ... you did the same anyway ...

2006-07-23T11:56:00.000+08:00

came across this verse this morning ...

(Jesus:)"I am the Light of the World. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the Light of Life."
[ John 8:12 ]

after ytd sermon ... i was right ... i tot tat God was drifting away from me ... and it was so true ... He was moving away from me ... according to Isaiah 55:6 ...

"Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near."

dun want that to happen though ...

i will continue to ask Him ...
i will continue to seek after Him ...
i will continue to pray to Him ...
i will continue to love Him more and more each passing day ...
... Amen ...

2006-07-23T02:09:00.000+08:00

i ve posted 7 entries based on events that happened since last thurs ... with regard to cell grp, ministries and etc ... do read them ...

apologies to bowen makkalz ... ok ok ... i will stop blogging about church from next week ... ok ... hahas

one down ... one more to go ...

2006-07-23T01:49:00.000+08:00

the other person who i was pissed off with and i pissed off was Pa ... yeaps ... but i dun wish to blog about that in detail though ...

nao ... im sori ... i din intend to make you cry ... im terribly sori ... i tot you wld take such things lightly ... i did not realise that it means a lot to you ... i felt so bad after seeing you in that state ... im really sori ... forgive me yar ...

glen ... hahas ... hu ask you to disturb me ... see lah ... tap shoulder in the middle of service ... i can simply say that it was you even without turning back lor ... coz i know you confirm got nth better to do ... lol ... i din mean to hit u so hard with the bible ... opps ... did it hurt ... nvm rite ... not painful rite ... hehe ... sori anw ...

fre ... thnx gal ... ill keep wat u said in mind ... i will try to renew myself ... but let me tell you this ... for someone like me ... it is not gonna be easy ...

chu ... thnx for ur postcard gal ... your mes was really a reflection of me ... at least about 85% ... so ... you do noe me ... hahas ... i will do my best to chg my ways kaez ... ill keep ur words in mind ...

Pa ... i've got nth to say to you yet ... but i will ... soon ....

RARHHHHHHHHH

2006-07-23T01:29:00.000+08:00

vow ... today i got into 2 peeps' nerves ... but only after they got into my mine ...

after tuition ... i was waiting for the UC ~~ex-UC~~ the gals to be back ... they went for a bbs in syl's cher's church ... they went without me ... rarh ... i had my tuition to attend to ... or hor ... they all did not go for the bbs in hlc ... and they din even tell Pa ... i felt kind of bad for him ... as fre told me that no one turned up ... that is very hurtful if you see it in his point of view ... but he is a strong man ... not emmotionally weak ~~like me~~ ... so i think it is not a big deal to him ...

when i saw nao ... i dragged her into the study ... and expressed my feeling regarding certain issues that i was unhappy with ... den i was rudely interupted ... jev was shouting out for me ... "gayan ... gayan" ... i've told her so many times not to call me so ... rarh ... i had the door closed ... so it is understandable that we were tokin serious stuff ... but she ... urgh ... it was really very loud ... maybe she was being that loud ... but her voice might 've been amplified by the narrow corridor ...

it was time to pray ... so i followed peri and her ... but before that i passed my amaths qn paper to nao and syl to help me out with some qns ... then jev came back in ... and she called perisa to pray ... (she din call me) ... so i tot i was not needed ... so i stayed where i was ... but perisa asked me to follow her ... i did ...

we were suppose to pray ... why werent we ... she din noe wat to pray abt ... she asked peri wat to pray abt ... (again, she din ask me) ... peri was the middle person ... she asked me exactly wat jev asked ... are we playing games or wat ... rarh ... but i kept my feeling to myself ... i suggested a few points ... 3 to be exact ... to pray about ... den suddenly she started speaking to me ... hmmm ... she asked me to lead the prayer ...

i was like who's the IC here ... i mean c'mon afterall she is the IC and if i lead ... it would seem like ... im not respecting her "superiority" ... and that would for sure coz more tension ...

when i went to the main hall ... i was seriously pissed with wat i saw ... usually the ushers on duty sit together ... there were 3 of us on duty ... but jev had her bag and peri's bag placed on a two seater ... den where am i suppose to sit ... ~~bloody h-e-l-l~~ ... so i placed my bag beside nao's ... but i was still kind enough to place jev bag back on the chair when it fell on the floor ...

but guess wat she did ... she went to anna and told her that i have not been fulfilling my duty and i have always been running after nao when duty calls ... what the ~~h-e-l-l~~ ... i only placed my bag beside nao ... only that day ... and it becoz that she din want me to sit with her ... gosh ... she i s full of contradictions ...

den peri moved the bags to a 3 seater ... den i joined them ...

and also found out that she doesnt not want me under her animore ... and want me to chg with reg ... stupid me ... i sld 've gotten the hint last time ... when she said she wants madeline to join usher ministry under her ... so i guess she had a deep hatred for me for very long already ...

but she did not tell me a single thing ... a 3rd person came to me to tell all these ... i cant believe that she was up to no gd behing mt back ...

she sld have ... if i were her ... i would personally come to her and tok abt it ... right benjamin ... i think ben will say amen to this ...

service started ... i was sitting with jev and perisa ... den i could really participate in worshiping ... everything she did to me ... since last week kept on appearing in my mind ... rarh ... i decided ... decided to move ...

i moved to sit with reg in the middle of service ... but i did not distract anyone though ... see ... i m considerate ... hahas ... but i should have sat with syl instead ... reg was very distracting ... i couldnt pay attention here either ... but i still preferred sitting here ... and so i tried my veri best to listen to the preaching ...

den in the middle of service reg threw peri's token to jev across the aisle ... but she threw my pen at them as well ... gosh ... and peri wanted to throw back the pen ... i was veri fustrated ... so i stood up ... got the pen from her and took my sit ... apologies to eveyone for that distraction ...

i have forgiven her ... even before she apologised ... and i have apologised ... ~~but she has yet to accept my apology ... im waiting~~ ... she juz did ... 20 min later after my sms ... im so glad ...

officially second day of new ministry

2006-07-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

ooh ... second day of my new ministry ... this time the were two ... suppose to be four turning up ... but only two did ... seems discouraging right ... but guess what ... i thank God for that ... yeaps ... tutoring one person is so different den tutoring two ... and four might be even worst ...

before the whole thing started ... i was doin my a maths home work in the study ... den tit came in saying that the parents wanted to see me ... i was like ... oh my gdness ...

i've a phobia of meeting parent since the begining of this year ... lol ... it all started when i was helping mrs tan do some admin stuff ... i smsed miao ning about some details about her contact numbers ... i tot that the new number given to me was her new handphone no. ... so i smsed her as though i am doin so to a fren ... but guess wat ... the new number is her mums ... lol ... then the mum called me back ... and talked for abt 10 mins ... lol ...

since there were two this time ... i was like ... who sld i start with first ... i did not want to be bias or anything ... hahas ... so i asked them whether they had any questions to ask ... but seemed like they were not prepared with doubtful questions yet ...

so i was like waiting for them to ask me something ... they did ... but only for about 40 mins ... and the rest of the time ... they were doing their work ...

this is gd becoz i am assured that they are capable of better result ... and that there is a small chance of their parent going after me if the grades in school deprove ...

but the bad thing is that ... i felt useless ... i even went on to do my own homework at the same time ... but i could focus on those integration questions ... as a lot of tots went thru my mind ...
whether i was doin the right thing by waiting for them to ask ...
or sld i have intitated it instead ...
will they complain to their parents about my lack of experirence and inefficiency ...
will i get tit in trouble ...
will i get myself in trouble with pa ...

... i will do better the next time round ... i hope ...

brain teasers ...

2006-07-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

i couldnt do it in my first few tries ... can you ...

brain teasers ...

2006-07-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

ooh ... i love this pic ... nice scenic view ... kinda romantic ... but there's more in that pic ...

look closely ... there's a baby in that pic ... can you see it ... can you ... cool rite

if you see it, you can have it? """"""RITE""""""

2006-07-21T22:28:00.001+08:00

oh my gdness ... exactly ten mins ago ... at 22 18h ... i was almost knock down by a car ... muz go buy 4-D ... lol ...

if you had read my previous post ... i said that i had an imagination that my death would be caused by an accident in the middle of the road ....

hmmm .... is this what's meant by ... if you see it, you can have it ... gosh ... i so dun believe in it anymore ...

and i still dun no why i am a going to a church which is marinated and soaked in this mes for months ...

2006-07-21T00:35:00.000+08:00

inteded to go for peircean speech day ... but decided not to ... becoz ... i tot my ex-peircean church peeps will be 'vin a get together with their classmates ... but they werent ... the main reason they were there was to support syl who received the best cadet award or something like tat ... darn ... i sld 've gone with them ...

at 7 30 ... there was power hse ... i wanted to go for it ... suppose to leave my hse at 6 30 ... but left at 6 40 ... den wait for the bus ... waited and waited and waited ... the bus came at 6 55 ... oh man ... im late ... again ...

was praying very hard that i sld get to church on time ... when i was in the bus i receive a mes from Pa ... i was glad that at least there is someone concern nearby ... love you Pa ...

it was about 7 26 ... and i was still in the middle of yck rd ... gosh ... i alighted from the bus and decided to take the taxi ...

i dropped off at the bus stop near church ... and ran all the way to church ... it was already 7 35 den ... tit pau and edm were in the main hall ... doin their ministry stuff i guess ... went to the the study room ... no one there either ... i was wondering whether there was power hse that day ... i asked tit ... he said it sld have stated at 7 30 ...

Pa was waiting for jor to come back from the speech day event ... good thing that i brought my maths ... hahas ... so waited for jor for quite sometime ... guess wat ... syl and reg came for power hse as well ... great ...

i dun know why ... this time i couldnt pray properly ... ever since i walked into the study room where the power hse session was held ... i was wondering ... what time can i go home ... i did not have the mood to pray ... but i still did my best ... i did not pray aloud this time either ...

this wld at least be my tenth time comin for a power hse session ... and the only time i rmb praying aloud was on the first occassion ... den there were eng teng karen and myself and the whole thing was led by jor ... that was the first and the last time i prayed aloud ...

this was syl second time ... but im glad for her that she prayed aloud ... good job gal ... Pa is right ... power hse is for peeps to pray aloud ... and if they dun do so ... there isnt a point in coming ... so i guess i wldnt be comin animore ...

cell grp meetin ... sld i ... sldnt i

2006-07-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

last night's cell ... did not intend to go ... had many resons for that ... though i was looking forward since tuesday ...

one reason was that i was ic for the games this time ... and i tot of a bonding game on mon ... but it was considered inappropriate as it did not have much movements ...

so the i came up with another game ... on tues ... oh i liked this better than the first one ... hahas ... and i had all the items all prepared ... than on thurs day ... the day when we were suppose to have cell ... it happened again ... i was told that it was inappropriate ... rarh ... after all those stuff that i did ... so fustrating ...

so the game that we were gonna play was wacko ... i was like ... dotz ... i seriously think the games that i came up with were way better than wacko ... and c'mon ... who's the game host anw ... im not being rude here ... juz voicing out my opinion ...

another reason was bcoz of her again ... why do you alwaes have do tat ... and i cant understand why am i still after you ... not after you as in after you ... but after you as in after you ... get it ... wats up with me ...

thirdly ... i will miss singapore idol ... and nao and jev can catch it since they are not coming either ...

next ... it is so far ... it starts late ... and so ends late ... by the time i reach home ... ill be so exhausted to complete my homework ...

most importantly ... i had unfinished homework ... and also had a geog grp assignment to do ... it is to be completed in one night ... and handed up the next day ... oh man ...

i went for it anw ... gosh ... this time very little peeps turned up ... i was wondering whether me being there would make a big difference ... guess not ...

this time ... the games was cancelled ... to tell truth i was glad ... coz i did not want to conduct a game of wacko ...

Pa's preaching was also very short ... most of the time was kept for sharing ... the question goes like this ... wat wld you ask for on the second comin of Christ?... i was hesistant to answer ... so each time when it was my turn ... i passed ...

the reason for my hesistation was what happened the last time in such a sharing session ... that time ... it seemed as though i stole the spot light ... which i really felt very bad about then ... did not want history to repeat again ... so this time ... i kept my mouth shut ... becoz i knew that wat i wanted to say would be a little too much ...

however i did tell reg and syl about it ... though i did not elaborate ... so that it would not seem like we were anti-ing others ... that was the hot topic for the nite actually ... i felt that as though ... the ~~Underage Clique~~ ex-UC were being blamed for this ...

ok that was what i felt ... it may not be true ... perhaps ... perhaps ... perhaps ... perhaps ...

what i actually wanted to ask for was ... (drum rolls, pls) ...
DEATH ...
(den-den-den-duh) ...yeaps ... that's it ... that's what i want ... death ... not that i wanna get closer with GoD and enjoy eternity ... (that wld be one benefit though) ... it is becoz ... i wanna let loose from everything ... burdens from home, school and church ...

i even had an imagination that i would die ... by an accident in the middle of the road ... ooh ... how exciting ... then my funeral would happen in the hindu way ... as nth say that im a christian ... not even my ic ... on my tomb stone ... it would scripted as KARTIK GAYAN ... without the joshua ... (1990-____) ... lost soul ... cant wait for that day ...

during QT that night ... i was crying throughout ... gosh ... i dun understand what is up with me ...

i had a great day ...

2006-07-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

today english lesson was ... (drum rolls, pls) fun ... gosh ... i cant believe im saying this ... but its true ... it was fun ... and these kinda of lesson only happens once in a blue moon ...

anw ... it was something like this ... mrs tan asked for volunteers ... 2 galz and 4 guyz ... and as usual ... ben and i start complainin abt the class ratio ... if u hadnt known ... the ratio of the galz is to guyz is 3:1 ... how pathetic ... does this mean that women are the superior gender? ... and the men are the dumb witz? ... wateva it is ... the dumb witz does not include any guyz in my class becoz we are juz as gd as the galz ...

... ok back to the story ... as usual ... there were not any volunteers ... you can never see that in my class ... though mrs tan is hopin for that day whereby ... when asked for volunteers at least half the class would have the arms raised ... ok i seriously think this would not happen ... ever in 4e1 ... hahas ...

the 2 enthu drama mama ... suxin and sheereen went up ... followed by broy and selwyn ... vow ... half the dbcta was up there already ... 4 down ... 2 more places (for the guy) to go ... since the guyz sit together in mrs tan's class ... everyone ... i mean ... the gals ... were looking at the area of the classroom ... but we pretended to be not bothered ... hahas ...

then ... ben said that he will go if i do so ... and i said if if goes than i will ... but surprisingly ... rui boon went up ... that was so unexpected ... mrs tan was like ...' one more place left ... now who shall we pick' ... den the whole class was like ... 'kartik ... kartik' ... and i was like ~~dammit~~ ... i expected it though ... and so i went up ...

mrs tan gave each of us a card that had specified different characters ... sowe were gonna do some role playing ... ooh ... this is fun ... and the name of my character was PETER ... lolx ... the first thing that came into my mind was my Pa ... hahas ...

the whole activity was so fun ... and we, the role players ... were making lots of comments and stuff and all ... hahas ... shall not say it here ... wat if mrs tan sees ... hahas ...

then after school ... went to j8 with ben ... ben ... your IC photo really looks like rapist or a kidnapper ... lol ... after lunch ... we walk here ... walk there ... den he went home ... and i went to church to see my Pa ...

proud to be a christian ...

2006-07-17T14:17:00.000+08:00

Life is a test.
Christianity is the best.

Prayer is a must.
The World is only dust.

If the bible is in chest,
Nothing will you need next.

Obey GoD first,
for sucess will be next.

Stef sent me this ... and i thought of sharing this with yall ...

ask and you'll receive ...

2006-07-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

church peeps ... dun 4 get ... 50 by the end of this year ...

friendship connection is this week ... and my prospect list is still not done up yet ... wateva it is ... i so want her to come to church ... i 've failed in doing so all this while ...

(Jesus:) "Ask and it will be given to you; ... For everyone who asks receives; ... "
[ Matthew 7:7 ]

I will continue asking ... for im assured that my prayer would be answered ... Amen ...

this is bad ...

2006-07-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

i realise that there is a lot of unhappiness amongst church peeps lately ...
Not only amongst the my cg ...
but also the another cg ...
not gonna blog abt that ... as ive promised that i wldnt ...
O Father Lord ... i pray that everything goes back to normal very soon ...

syl ... check this out ...

2006-07-16T20:40:00.000+08:00

this entry is in conjuction with sylvia's entry in her blog on 16th july at 7:20 ...

syl ... i totally agree with you ... it all started becoz of this one person ... and now it turns out to be as though it is all of us who are anti-ing the rest of the church peeps ... and did you realise in ur tag board ... he/she was silent ... and din raise any issue when there was a spark in your blog ... ~~bloody h-e-l-l~~ ...

this person was the one who did everything ... from running away from the rest ... and going for dinner without the others ... none of the other church peeps have realised it ... oh man ... he/she seem to be the so innocent in the eyes of the others ...

and i apologies to those who found my tag rude ... it was just a sudden outburst of fustration ... as it appeared to me as though im being blamed ... for the wrong or rather for no reason ...

i declare that UC has dissolved ... i was the one started it though ... (sob,sob) ... ~~DIE DIE DIE~~ ... and can u believe that this he/she was actually part of UC ... this is so fustrating ... and by the way ... the rude ~~brute~~ person who i referred to in my previous entry was this exact same person ...

gosh i really hope that things works out fine before they take a toll ...

PS: it has already taken a toll in reg, syl and me ...